Printed Matter

My son, Alex, is training in Mississippi, and while the Army has plenty to keep him him busy, he asked for some reading material to help pass his free time. I sent two books, a novel, The Given Day by Dennis Lehane — and because he asked for something on investing, A Random Walk Down Wall Street by Burton Malkiel.

Oh, yes, and a few magazines:

  • Esquire
  • Guns and Ammo Handguns Annual
  • National Review
  • Journal of Counter Terrorism & Homeland Security
  • The Economist
  • Maxim

That’s eclectic. I need to put together another package to send this week; your suggestions are most welcome.

Melon Protector

There’s something about the shape of my head that seems to make helmets look strange. Maybe because it’s sort of oblong but helmets ride weirdly on my noggin — and we know it’s not from having too much brain stuffed in there.

At Jiminy Peak recently, almost everybody on the mountain was wearing a helmet, and by almost everybody, I mean over ninety percent of the skiers and boarders. This represents a very big change in a very short time.

It wasn’t long ago that you would just see kids with helmets and an occasional adult, who was regarded as an oddball. Since then, helmet use has caught on like wildfire.

A helmet won’t necessarily protect you from a severe blow to the head or the multitude of other injuries you could suffer, but it couldn’t hurt. And forget about looking weird — have you seen some of the strange sh*t people wear while skiing?

Urinetown

I take a shortcut through a walkway in downtown Albany that takes me below the steps in front of the Times Union Center.

When I started walking this way, I noticed that every single morning there was a guy out here with a bucket and mop cleaning all around the dark nooks and crannies. Wow! They do an amazing job of keeping this place tidy, I thought. It smells like bleach — which to me is the odor of CLEAN.

Then one day the bucket and mop guy wasn’t there — and the entire area reeked of urine. Ackkkk! Apparently, this is Albany’s favorite spot to urinate, which makes perfect sense. There are a couple of bars nearby and lots of street people — not to mention all the beer drinking at the arena — so the urinating is understandable.

Because I always have to go to the bathroom, I find this interesting — but just for the record, I do my best to find a bathroom.

I think the mayor should stop down here and have a look; if we clean up around Albany as if people are peeing everywhere, it would surely be a better place. And the mayor could stop worrying about Alex Trebek dissing the city.

Dog Bites Anchor

Here’s a little tip: don’t shove your mug right up into the face of a dog you don’t know. Why? Because it might fu**ing bite you, that’s why.

That’s exactly what happened to to KUSA anchor Kyle Dyer last week and she ended up with 70 stiches in her face. Here’s the video, which is scary, but not graphic. I like the weatherman at the end.

The Argentine mastiff was rescued after falling into an icy pond the day before — a story which would not have not been news at all if the scene had not been captured on video by KUSA’s helicopter. In essence, a story they manufactured came back to bite them. Right in the face.

TV news will go out of its way to show you video of terrible things: fires, car accidents, fights, murder scenes — but when it happens to one of their own? Not so much.

TV Spy reports that KUSA news directory Patti Dennis has tried like hell to supress the video of Dyer being bitten. That’s funnny, because I’m sure she’d be the first to air the video if it happened to an anchor across town.

Weegee 2012

Weegee/International Center of Photography

I’ve been itching to see the Weegee exhibit, Murder is My Business, at the International Center of Photography. Weegee, aka Arthur Fellig, made his mark shooting lurid photos that often showed in graphic glory the results of violence.

I doubt that the tabloid editors who published his pictures ever felt the need to justify it later. They just wanted to sell newspapers — and they’d probably laugh if they heard that today we call Weegee’s work art.

Meanwhile, in 2012, the Times Union this week is defending the posting of a video on its website that shows a murder. Many readers were outraged, and in response editor Rex Smith wrote:

“We weigh the first imperative of our ethics code — to seek the truth and report it fully — against the sometimes competing notion that we must minimize the harm that reporting may inevitably cause some people.”

Newspapers may have evolved but the people who crave accounts and pictures of murder and mayhem have not. They seek out the thrill of seeing something sensational. And that’s just human nature.

The Clock Will Kill You

Most people did not get what Bill Belichick was doing when he allowed Ahmad Bradshaw to score — hell, even Ahmad Bradshaw didn’t understand until it was too late.

Belichick decided to trade points for time. It was a ballsy thing to do and a calculated risk that did not pay off. And you know what that’s like, don’t you?

So many writers have waxed poetic about baseball, but it’s football that reveals the truth about life. It’s a game of triumph and struggle and tragedy. Pain and glory, winning and losing. It’s a place where perseverence is rewarded — but sometimes it’s just better to be lucky.

And ultimately, as in life, it comes down to the clock.

Now, on to the sideshow. Most of the Super Bowl commercials sucked, but I really liked the Silverado apocalypse commercial, which would have also been interesting with zombies. However, the spot I can’t stop thinking about is the Cat Killing Dorito Dog. The audacity of extending the cat vs. dog trope this far, for the dog to… well watch the commercial:

This made me laugh out loud, the cats storm out of the room, and the dogs give high-fives all around.

The Interns Are Revolting!

An unpaid intern is suing Hearst, claiming the media giant violated labor laws. The lawsuit — which Xuedan Wang and her attorney hope will be joined by unpaid Hearst interns across America — asserts that in exchange for college credit she worked long hours at tasks that would ordinarily be done by paid employees.

What? Isn’t that what interns are for?

I did an internship at a local television station back in the summer of 1983. I arrived in Albany just in time to stand on the corner of Washington and Swan and watch the funeral procession for Erastus Corning 2nd. At the time I thought, “Wow! He must have been some important guy!”

Sure, the TV station treated me like an entry level employee instead of a student. On my very first day they handed me a brush and had me painting sets. There was plenty of other menial labor I was assigned, things that had nothing to do with learning about television.

I gladly did the work — and I ended up getting hired there, working for peanuts, really. $5.70 per hour, which adds up to $12,000 per year.

Unpaid internships are a staple of the media world, and there’s very little discussion about what work interns may and may not do. In shops without unions they may end up doing almost anything.

On internships, the Department of Labor says, “the employer that provides the training derives no immediate advantage from the activities of the intern; and on occasion its operations may actually be impeded.”

Yeah, right.

Who knows, we may be seeing the end of the intern free for all. Then the only unpaid workers at media companies will be “citizen bloggers.”

Beet You Bloody

photo by rob. steal it and i shall beet youWhen you get to be my age, you keep you eye out for signs you are about to die. Looking into the toilet and finding what appears to be blood is one of those signs.

Unless you’ve been eating beets.

Beets are arguably the hottest vegetable around right now and you can’t open a newspaper or look at a food blog without finding beet recipes. Roasted beets, beet salad, sauteed beets… they’re everywhere.

But back to the amusing side effects. When many people eat beets, their stool takes on a bright red bloody color. It may also turn your urine red, which is hilarious — unless you’re not expecting it, then it’s not so funny.

Very few items about beets mention this amazing phenomena, focusing mainly on the beets healthful benefits and unique earthy flavor. I urge you to take the plunge with the humble beet. Serve it to someone unfamiliar with their magical properties and watch them run screaming from the bathroom the next day.

Lot Filled?

Most of you don’t lay in bed at night worried about where state employees park, nor should you. I bet if I stick my head out the window right now, I’d hear you shouting,“Screw them!”

Understandable, but bear with me.

State workers know that Downtown Albany parking is notoriously scarce — and many of them are on waiting lists for spaces with hundreds and hundreds of people in front of them. Rather than pay for a private lot or garage, lots of them take to the streets — something that’s led to Albany’s push to restrict on-street parking to residents only.

But if there are so few parking spaces available, how come this state employee lot routinely gives space to shows visiting the Times Union Center? This week, half of the Grand Street lot was blockaded so Rascal Flatts could park their trucks there.

The next day the trucks were gone and the spaces empty — except for a few bags of garbage they’d left behind in the rain. I guess that’s their way of saying, “Thanks, Albany.”

The Flow of Information

What’s down there, anyway? I’m guessing it’s the blogs.