Moose, Buffalo man collide(I didn’t make up that headline)
CHATHAM–A Buffalo man was seriously hurt when his motorcycle crashed into a moose on the Berkshire Spur section of state Thruway (I-90) in the eastbound passing lane at milepost 14.2, July 25 at 4:50 a.m. Motorcyclist Kim C. King, 39, was airlifted by LifeNet helicopter to the Albany Medical Center from a landing zone set up at the B-2 exit by Tri-Village firefighters. Mr. King was listed in critical but stable condition with multiple broken bones and internal injuries.
Bears kill two scientists and lay siege to remote forest base
At least 30 hungry bears have trapped a group of geologists at their remote survey site in the far east of Russian after killing two of their colleagues last week, emergency officials said. The team of geologists on the Kamchatka Peninsula were forced to remain in camp with weapons ready as the ravenous bears – some ten feet tall – roamed around outside. The bears are thought to have run out of their normal diet of fish and smaller animals – and to have turned instead to hunting humans.
Chhattisgarh govt to hunt down killer elephant RAIPUR: A rogue elephant that has killed eight people and caused widespread damage in Chhattisgarh’s Jashpur district is to be hunted – with tranquiliser gun – the state government announced after affected villagers started a road blockade. Chhattisgarh’s vast northern region, comprising of Surguja, Jashpur, Korea, Korba and Raigarh districts, regularly witnesses cases of man-elephant conflict. Dozens of people have been killed by wild elephants in recent years in the region.
MYSTERIOUS MAIL I get lots of weird mail at work, some of it addressed to me as the company “President”, but I’m really curious how I got on the mailing list for Black Enterprise magazine. Not complaining here —especially not with articles like this about my main man, Barack Obama, but it just seems a little odd. I didn’t think I was in the target demo, but maybe I was made some sort of honorary black entrepreneur. Perhaps I’ll get invited to go hang out with Russell Simmons or something.
ABOUT DOGS At dinner recently we got on the subject of dogs and strokes. Zack asked, “If a dog has a stroke does it end up with slurred bark?” Good question.
ALSO ABOUT DOGS We can’t name many of our neighbors or any of the children running around, but we know the names of all the dogs: Penny, Fenway, Shelby, Fanny, Max, Skipper (Skip for short), Hank, and Fenway. Yes, there are two dogs named Fenway. Boston fans. I’m naming my next dog Bill Buckner.
In photographs, Maple Ridge Wind Farm is beautiful and beguiling. In person it’s an abomination. When you come upon them straddling rural Route 177 in Lewis County you can hardly believe your eyes. The giant wind turbines stretch as far as you can see on Tug Hill. There are 195 of them. When you see several wind turbines together it is an inspiring sight, but when there are nearly 200 of them it leaves a ravaged landscape —as ugly and out of place as the most unsightly factory. If fact, the towers are considerably worse than many industrial sites, rendering a vast stretch of farmland into a ruined landscape. When I came over the hill and saw them for the first time I had to slow down or else I would have driven off the road. I used to think that the people who opposed wind turbines were cranks —wackos and Luddites standing in the way of something clean and wonderful. After all, look how pretty they are in my pictures. Get out of your car and stand among the monsters and you might not feel that way.
The big question on vacation: what’s a family to do without 21st century entertainment? During our week on Wolfe Island, Ontario we did what people have done for ages: play with the mice.
The first mouse was running back and forth on top of the backsplash of the kitchen counter. Outrageous! Having violated the sanctity of our vacation, this filthy rodent would have to pay. I went to the grocery/hardware/fireworks store to buy traps. I asked about glue traps, because Ann wanted to get the mouse humanely. The woman behind the counter said all she had was the snap traps. Besides, what do you do when you catch one on the glue trap? I explained that vegetable oil dissolves the glue and frees the mouse. This is perfect because once the mouse is coated with oil you can drop it right in the frying pan. She just stared at me, either because she had no sense of humor or eating mice in Canada is not that unusual.
That night the irresistible combination of peanut butter and potato chips did its trick. The trap slammed shut at about 2am.
We enjoyed several days of mouse-free vacation bliss before the baby mice appeared. They were tiny sawed off versions of the first mouse —mouse-lets, if you will. I explained to Zack what was happening. We killed their mom, and now they’re seeking revenge. Having already left them orphans we didn’t have the heart to kill the baby mice, so we trapped them one by one and released them across the road. They’ve probably found their way back by now, just in time for the next folks using the cottage.
Wolfe Island, Ontario sits at the mouth of the St. Lawrence River. Year round there are more cows than people, but during July and August the population swells as Summer folks fill the cottages that line the shore. In Canada they call them cottages, not camps. Funny Canadians! Anyway, that’s where I’ll be for the next week. And for the the first time in a long time I’m going offline. I was all set to buy a month of dial-up service —until I found out that there’s no phone line. Then somebody said there’s a computer at the library in the village, but a little research (online) revealed that it’s open less than 20 hours per week —and you need a library card.
I may try to see if I can leech off someone’s wireless near the ferry, but other than that, consider me off the hook.
GOTTA SERVE SOMEONE Zack surprised us on the way out of Mass Sunday, announcing that he’d like to be a lector someday. We were really impressed by this because we’ve worked so hard to keep him interested in church. I was halfway to the car before I realized why he was suddenly so keen on getting involved —and it had everything to do with first reading, Zechariah 9:9-10:
See, your king shall come to you; a just savior is he, Meek, and riding on an ass, on a colt, the foal of an ass.
Like every 12-year-old, he just wants to say ass in church.
ON THE INTERNET, NOBODY KNOWS YOUR A DOG I don’t really have time for it, but I’ve gotten myself involved in another online project: Dog 365. For the next year, I will post one picture a day of Scarlett, the Australian Shepherd who can’t manage to keep her tongue out of my mouth. I’d like to tell you that this is some sort of satire about the relationship we have with our pets, but like a lot of things I’ve done online, I didn’t really put that much thought into it.
POST TIME Madeo couldn’t quite get it done at the May 24 Alydar Stakes, losing by a neck to long shot Trevor’s Clever. His owners and trainer continue to have high hopes for the three-year-old, who’s entered in Saturday’s $350,000 Swaps Stakes at Hollywood Park. Madeo won’t be the favorite this time. Among the entries are Kentucky Derby horse Colonel John, who will likely head to The Travers if he wins this race. Does that mean Madeo could end up in the Travers if he wins? Not likely, especially considering he’s never run on dirt.
I know you’ve all been waiting breathlessly to hear if I screwed up the longIrish blessing I was assigned to recite at my niece’s wedding. Well, it turns out I did OK, thanks to practicing all day Thursday —and to the cheat sheet on my hand. Whew! Good thing.
It was certainly one of the top four weddings I’ve ever been to, the other three being my sister’s wedding (1979), my brother’s wedding (2001), and MY wedding (1987). Interestingly, the one I remember least is my own.
You know the story: it’s the day before a holiday and nobody feels like doing any work. I’d like to help you waste ten minutes of your employer’s time with this amazing video. Extra credit if you can name all 100 movies.
My niece is getting married Friday, and I was very honored that she asked me to recite the well known Irish blessing that begins, “May the road rise up to meet you…” You know the one. Being half Irish, I take the Irish stuff seriously. The other half is Italian, and I believe that I’ve inherited all the best traits of both these famously cool headed and forgiving people.
She asked that I memorize it, and I figured this is a no-brainer, because that thing is only like two or three lines, right? Wrong. I opened her email and discovered it’s 16 lines long:
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
May true be the hearts that love you;
May pure be the joys that surround you.
May you see your children’s children,
May the hand of a friend always be near.
May you know nothing but happiness, from this day forward.
May God be with you and bless you,
May He hold you in the palm of His hand.
And may Almighty God bless you, and all of us.
