“Who would you rather have a beer with?” That’s the question American pundits, both amateur and professional, love asking when probing the common man credentials of political candidates. Well, all the sudden the candidate you’d most like to have a beer with is gun totin’, ice fishin’, snowmobile ridin’, mooseburger eatin’ Sarah Palin. Yes, you’re voting for president, not vice president —but just wait and see how this changes the trajectory of the election.
Entries from August 2008
The Beer Vote
August 29, 2008 · 6 Comments
Categories: News
Unfortunate
August 28, 2008 · 1 Comment
Earlier this Summer, someone at work suggested we promote the Olympics by handing out customized fortune cookies. They would contain a message that said something like, “There is much excitement in your future —watch the Olympics on Channel 13.” I thought that was a great idea, except for one thing: people take fortune cookies seriously, and if they’re expecting a fortune and get an advertisement it could really backfire. Remember the Ovaltine decoder ring in “A Christmas Story?” Who wouldn’t feel cheated when they discover that their fortune is just “a crummy commercial?”
Funny thing is that most Chinese people have never even heard of fortune cookies —and this hilarious video from the New York Times shows what happened when they started handing out fortune cookies in China.
Here’s the related article.
Categories: Work
Tagged: advertising
The Week In Irony
August 26, 2008 · 1 Comment
WAL-MART NATION
I needed to find goody bag loot for Zack’s birthday party, no naturally I went to Wal-Mart —and that’s where I got the Billy Bob teeth in this picture. As if people shopping at Wal-Mart need fake Billy Bob teeth? One time I found a folding chair in the store with a warning label that said “Not to be used by persons weighing over 300 pounds.” I’m pretty sure I was the only person in the store under 300 pounds.
SHUFFLE OFF
Helped move Alex off to college in Buffalo over the weekend. I used $120 worth of gas to transport his $110 worth of crap across the state.
LIVE FOR TODAY
Dave Freeman, the guy who co-wrote the book “100 Things To Do Before You Die” died at age 47 after falling in his home and hitting his head. “This life is a short journey,” he wrote. Turns out it was shorter than he thought.
AND IN THE MEDIA WORLD
Local TV stations used to always send reporters to cover the political conventions, even though these events were essentially coronations. There was little news to be reported, but it sure looked good to the audience. Now that there’s finally a convention with some news value, most local TV stations aren’t there because they couldn’t afford to go.
Categories: Kids · Modern Living · News · Work
Patchy
August 20, 2008 · 2 Comments
The nurse asked me, “How long will this take to grow back?”
She was shaving patches of hair off my body so she could attach EKG electrodes during my annual physical: three on the chest and one on each calf. How long to grow back? No idea —but certainly not in time for vacation on the beach.
Thanks to some bizarre brew of genetic happenstance, I am uncommonly hairy. No, I’m not real happy about this turn of fate, but what the hell? You play the hand you’re dealt. Oh sure, I’ve considered manscaping, but I don’t even like getting the hair on my head cut. Fortunately, Ann says she likes me just the way I am. If not for that -or if I were single or something- I’d be off to be waxed, trimmed, lasered…whatever it would take.
Last year on the beach a nearby family made no secret of their interest in my dog-like appearance. They gawked at me from their blanket, gesturing in my direction and chattering in amazement. Since they were speaking a foreign language I can’t give you a direct translation, but the inflection said, “Oh! Look at the hairy man!” They were obviously from a place where body hair is not the norm. My son Alex says, “Maybe they worship hairy people where they come from. Or monkeys.”
Anyway, the chest hair has mostly recovered from being sheared, but I still have two bare patches on my legs. And next time I go to the doctor I’ll be sure to do it in November.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: dogs, manly matters, personal health
A Brief Video Interlude
August 18, 2008 · No Comments
It only takes about four seconds to know that this spot could only be from Nike, a company that understands its brand like no other. And it certainly doesn’t hurt that they have a huge pile of money to spend on creative, either.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: advertising
Olympic Free Zone
August 14, 2008 · 11 Comments
When you don’t watch much TV to begin with, being without one for a week is no big deal —except during the Olympics. Like a lot of people, when it comes to the Olympics, I’ll pretty much watch anything that NBC puts in front of me. Women’s doubles badminton semifinals? Bring ‘em on. Individual 70m archery preliminaries? I’m there. But this week on vacation I’ve seen nothing.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping up with the action in the newspaper. I must say, the US Gold in the men’s swimming 4×100 relay sounded so exciting in the New York Times that I jumped right out of my beach chair and cheered.
I know what you’re saying: Excuse me, Rob, but if you have the internet why don’t you just watch online? I’ll tell you why, smarty pants, because the WiFi connection I’m borrowing from the neighbor is awful. Really, it’s sketchy to the point of being primitive. Jeez! What’s wrong with those people?
I think back in the office next week I’ll need some serious closed door time to catch up on my email and return phone calls. Especially on Monday morning, when the US men take on Japan in volleyball and the table tennis gold medal match is on USA Network…
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: sports, The Internets, tv
Dispatch from Fire Island
August 13, 2008 · No Comments
THY NEIGHBOR’S INTERNET
I am writing to you from the popular WiFi hot spot known as the neighbor’s wireless connection. I know that’s ethically questionable, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind —especially if they knew I was doing something important. After all, this is Ocean Bay Park, where the citizens practice an easygoing laissez-faire lifestyle —and if I’m going to have to hear your freakin’ stereo at 2am, I’ll help myself to your internet.
OVERHEARD ON THE FIRE ISLAND FERRY
“You watchin’ any Olympics?”
“Yeah…I was watching the beach volleyball yesterday.”
“The men or women?”
“Men play beach volleyball?”
IN WHICH ROB GETS ALL JUDGMENTAL
Here’s what Elizabeth Edwards wrote last week:
“I am proud of the courage John showed by his honesty in the face of shame.”
That’s great, but maybe had John Edwards been courageous and honest enough not to cheat on his wife -while she was recovering from breast cancer- we could all share in her admiration for the former presidential candidate. Courage is not defined as fessing up when you get caught —but it could be described as sticking with the person you married when things get tough.
Categories: Modern Living · News · The Internets
Tagged: Marriage
My World —And Welcome To It
August 7, 2008 · 4 Comments
Some of the worst advertising in America is for television news.
Generally speaking, it’s overblown, bombastic, ridden with overwrought clichés, and as subtle as an anvil dropped on your head. Someone must have gotten the idea that yelling at your audience is effective, because that approach has spread across America —and go from city to city and you’ll see that all the news promos look alike. I’ll admit that I’ve occasionally been part of the problem, but I’ve tried during my career in broadcast marketing and promotion to do work that was not…well…stupid.
Naturally, news promos have always been a ripe target for parody —and here’s the best one I’ve ever seen, from The Daily Show:
Categories: Work
Tagged: advertising, media, tv
A Fabulous Week Off
August 6, 2008 · 5 Comments
Upstate, half the people you talk to have never heard of Fire Island and the other half think it’s that gay place. I end up spending a lot of time explaining that there are about a dozen towns on Fire Island and only two of them are considered “gay” —even though one of them, Cherry Grove, is perhaps the gayest place on earth. It makes Provincetown look like Mayberry.
Thanks to the amazing kindness and benevolence of my brother and sister-in-law, we’ll spend next week at the house they own in Ocean Bay Park, which is about 2.5 miles and a world away from Cherry Grove. OBP is considered to be the most ramshackle and rowdy of Fire Island’s communities, famous for its shared rentals, bars, and endless happy hours. We’re staying just steps from the town’s most fascinating feature, the fence that keeps OBP people out of ritzy Point O’ Woods. Yes, a fence. To keep us out.
The fence is 15 feet high and you can only get in through a locked gate. One time we snuck in after tricking some Point O’ Woods children into letting us pass in behind them. They were not yet old enough to know our cheap clothes and vaguely ethnic looking features meant we didn’t belong. Maybe they thought we were there to tend the gardens. Anyway, we strolled through the the meticulous little village, trying desperately to look like we belonged there, but it was pretty clear we didn’t. Maybe we’ll try it again this year, except this time I’ll shave. And bring a tennis racket. And wear a Harvard t-shirt. Then -maybe- I’ll look like I belong there. And I’ll avoid speaking to the locals. If you’ve ever read a Ken Follett spy novel, you know that’s where people tend to get tripped up.
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: family
Things That Go Boom In The Night
August 4, 2008 · 3 Comments
It was about 2am and the fire department was dispatched to a hazardous condition call: a tree limb resting on power lines around the block. I was already awake because there was a hell of an explosion when they touched.
When we pulled up in the fire truck, every light on the street was on. People stood around on their front steps, clustered on the street, straining their necks to see the show in the backyard on the corner. The high voltage line was spitting out sparks and glowing in bright hues of blue and gold. Very impressive.
I’d seen all of these people before, walking dogs, cutting their grass…but I’d never seen so many of them at one time. A woman came up and told us to be careful of her vegetable garden, which is just in front of the sparky wire. I wanted to tell her, “Don’t worry, lady. We’re not going anywhere near that wire,” but when you put on the fire gear you don’t want people to think you’re afraid of being electrocuted. Instead, I thanked her for the info. Another person was wondering how we’d extinguish the burning branch and sparking wires. Once again, I reined in my tongue. Good thing, because I almost said, “We’re going to spray water on it. And if you like, we’ll let you hold the nozzle. You might feel a slight tingle.”
As in many situations, keeping your mouth shut is not a bad policy. Like the old saying goes, better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. And your neighbors will be less impressed with your community service if you give them wise-ass answers.
Categories: Firefighting
Tagged: neighbors
