Entries from September 2008
September 29, 2008 · 3 Comments
Leo’s Bakery in Albany closed a couple of years ago, so I was surprised to find it mentioned in the New York Times Diner’s Journal blog —and I was reminded of a memorable morning I spent at Leo’s 13 years ago.
Zack was being baptized and we were expecting a house full of people, so I showed up early to pick up our order: a big cross-shaped cake with white frosting. When I got Leo’s there were a hundred people lined up outside. That’s odd, I thought, a line outside the bakery? On a Sunday morning? What the hell? As I stood there waiting, person after person left the store with big brown bags. After almost an hour I could see what they were all buying: Challah bread. It turned out that Leo’s was not an Italian bakery, as Ann had told me, but a Jewish bakery —and Rosh Hashanah was to begin at sundown.
As I got to the front of the line , a local rabbi working the crowd grabbed my hand and heartily wished me, “Shana Tova Umetukah!” And then -almost simultaneously- the woman behind the counter held up my big cross shaped cake. Silence fell over the room. I pulled out my checkbook, because just as I’d been told Leo’s was an Italian bakery, I was also told they took checks. Wrong. So here I am in the Jewish bakery on Rosh Hashanah with my big cross-shaped cake —and after waiting on line for an hour I couldn’t pay for it. As I started backing out the door mumbling something about the ATM machine, no less than five people offered to front me the money. People were actually reaching into their wallets and pulling out $20 bills, but I was so confused and embarrassed that I kept going.
By the time I got back to Leo’s they’d been been cleaned out of challah, but there was my cake in the glass case. Later, stuffing my face with cross cake, I couldn’t forget all the people who practically fell over each other to try and help me —and I haven’t forgotten them since.
Categories: Religion
Tagged: food
September 27, 2008 · 8 Comments
Our household has been blessed with a new arrival: eleven month old Australian Shepherd Matty. As I write this, she is licking a pizza stone which I unwisely left on an eye-level shelf. Please try to forget this just in case I ever serve you homemade pizza.
Matty came to us as part of some sort of “deal” Ann made with the breeder. We didn’t have to pay for her, but at some point she’ll be mated, and will go to the kennel to birth and wean her puppies. The breeder gets the puppies. We in turn pay for the food, vet bills, dog treats, carpet cleaning, etc. I’m not sure what happens to this “deal” in case she accidentally gets knocked up by some neighborhood mongrel, instead of a carefully selected Australian Shepherd stud.
That brings us to the algebra of dog ownership. Two dogs means twice the food but it seems to yield four times as much dog poop. And walking two dogs? It’s ten times more complicated than walking one, turning a pleasurably mindless activity into a challenging ordeal. No, having a second dog isn’t easy, but as I get older I’m beginning to think that they key to living longer is doing new things. Hell, If I thought it would add five years to my life, I’d probably get another.
Categories: Home
Tagged: dogs
September 25, 2008 · 1 Comment
From the Arizona Republic. Please pay particular attention attention to the final sentence:
Vomit From ASU Frat Members May Have Caused Crash
Eight to 10 members of an Arizona State University fraternity are believed to have caused a car accident by vomiting milk onto traffic below an ASU footbridge on University Drive Tuesday night.
The incident caused a woman to rear-end another vehicle at about 6 p.m. after that vehicle stopped to avoid the vomit, according to Sgt. Scott Smith a spokesman for the Tempe Police Department.
The woman and her young daughter suffered minor injuries. The woman was cited for the accident, according to Smith. It is unknown why the men were drinking and vomiting the milk.
Categories: Uncategorized
Have you ever heard of methanethiol? It is a chemical compound found in in rotten eggs, onions, garlic, the secretions of skunks —and it’s also the stuff that makes some people’s pee smell after eating asparagus. There are several theories on this, but the one I like best is that everyone produces the odor, but only certain people can smell it.
That said, it turns out in our household that my son Zack and I can smell it while my wife Ann and son Alex can not. This has set up a very weird sort of bonding between us since it’s something unique we share together. I’ll serve asparagus at least once a week and we exchange a knowing glance, aware that an hour later we’ll both be enjoying the pungent odor of asparagus pee wafting up as we go to the bathroom.
Is it really true that everyone produces the odor but can’t smell it? I’m going to suggest that Zack do this as some sort of science project at school, but maybe we should start small at home.
Smelling Ann’s pee should be easy; getting her to smell ours? Not so much. That may require some trickery.
Categories: Home · Kids
Tagged: food, science
September 15, 2008 · 7 Comments
My commute’s a piece of cake: eight miles to work and never any traffic. But I woke up one morning last week and wondered how I’d get there without a car. Turns out it was easy.
Friday morning I set out from home on my bike. Destination: Wal-mart, where the CDTA’s #7 bus arrived at 8am. I’d studied YouTube videos showing bus bike racks, so I knew what to do. It went on the rack just like it supposed to and I bought a $3 ticket that would allow me to ride all day. In downtown Albany I switched buses and a few minutes later I was dropped off around the corner from work. The ride home was similarly easy —and the rain added a little dimension to the experience.
Some people may look at this as an empty gesture, but I’m not so sure. If I can leave the car at home two days a week I’ll save two gallons of gas. A drop in the bucket, but what if a million people joined me, or ten million? That would be significant. But let’s see if it still seems like a good idea in December.
Categories: Modern Living · Work
Tagged: commuting
September 10, 2008 · 2 Comments
Some people find squirrels absolutely repellent. Not me.
Yes, they do have a certain rat-like quality, but look how interesting and amusing they are! Like the time at work when we forgot to close the window. Squirrels got in the office and ran all over, leaving tiny footprints on the desks. Then they collected some M&Ms from down the hall and hid them everywhere. I’m still finding them. Anyhow, I’m not sure how you mark this on the scorecard, but see how this stray squirrel became the star of a recent game between the Chicago White Sox and Cleveland Indians.
Categories: News
Tagged: entertainment, sports
The thermometer says it’s still summer —but the look on everybody’s face screams that the season is over.
But September’s not no bad. In our house back to school and shorter days mean it’s apple picking time. At Indian Ladder Farms the trees are heavy with fruit, and if you go on a weekend afternoon, the rows of trees are busy with people filling their bags with the most beautiful apples you’ve ever seen.
The orchard is an idyllic place when your only picking half a bushel. Spend the whole day out there and it’s a different story. When my father was a teenager in the Bronx, he was sent away to the country with a work crew to pick apples. It was not idyllic. When I told him it was something we did for fun, he said, “I’d rather be dead than pick another apple.”
Today you can get Americans to pick apples for an hour, but not all day. Places like Indian Ladder Farms bring in crews from Jamaica to work the orchards —but not before they post the jobs locally. Only after they can’t find US citizens to do the work may they bring in foreign laborers. I asked an apple farmer about this once. “Local people we hire to pick apples show up the first day…and they never come back.” Have a look at what farmers have to do to harvest their crop. That red apple you’re biting into is wrapped in red tape.
Categories: Modern Living · Work
Tagged: current events, farming
Here’s a little advice: If she gets angry and takes off her shoe? Run.
WEST OCEAN CITY — An Ocean City woman faces assault charges after she allegedly struck a Pirates Cove employee with a shoe, causing injury to his face, and caused a disturbance at the bar with another employee of Pirates Cove on Tuesday. Worcester County Times 9/4/08
BOSTON — A woman was attacked by another woman with a high-heeled shoe and a pint glass in a Nantucket bar over the weekend, according to the Cape Cod Times. Laurie Ray, 36, faced charges Monday of mayhem and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon with intent to maim or disfigure. WCVB-TV 8/28/08
EAST STROUDSBURG –A 22-year-old woman smashed a man in the face with her shoe after he tried to kiss her Friday while she was walking home on Greentree Drive, Stroud Area Regional police said. Police said they found the man, Obispo Lopez-Diaz, 22, of Morristown, N.J., at a gas station on Prospect Street and charged him with indecent assault, stalking, simple assault, harassment and public drunkenness. When police arrived, they saw Lopez-Diaz had an indentation on his face that was ”consistent with being struck with heel of a shoe,” police said. The Morning Call 8/17/08
LINCOLN –A Lincoln woman is behind bars after police say she attacked a man with her high heel shoe. According to witnesses, a 21-year-old man was playing beer pong at a party when Connie Phillips, 22, punched him several times, then hit him in the forehead with her stiletto heel, causing a 1.5-inch gash and knocking him out. KOLN-TV 8/17/08
Categories: News
Tagged: crime, current events, Women
I stopped touting three-year-old colt Madeo after he lost a couple of times —and after several people following my advice lost money. I knew he was running on Sunday, but decided I’d be better off throwing away $20 at The Great Escape than throwing it away at OTB. Was I ever wrong.
Running in the $350,000 Del Mar Derby, Madeo came from behind to beat 9-10 favorite Gio Ponti by half a length. He paid $23.60 on a $2 bet. Damn!
And why call a horse Madeo? He’s named for a popular Italian restaurant in West Hollywood —the sort of place where the paparazzi hang around outside to get pictures of celebrities. From one patron’s Yelp review: “My girlfriend took me here for my birthday and we saw Chris Martin, Gwenyth Paltrow, Orlando Bloom at one table and at another table was Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson.” If you go, just remember: it’s not cool to stare.
Categories: News
Tagged: gambling, sports
At The Great Escape yesterday, we hit the sweet spot: a stretch of the day you could get on The Comet over and over again without standing on line. I can’t tell you how many times we went on the giant roller coaster —12 times? 15 times? Either way, my neck is really sore today. On the wet side of the park, we spent more than 30 minutes waiting to go on the “Mega Wedgie” water slide. You drop down a chute in a raft and then spin around and around in a big cylinder before before being sucked out the bottom. It should be called the Mega Bowl or Royal Flush, because the sensation is just like being in a toilet. If they were smart, they’d embrace this concept and run with the bathroom joke. Brown rafts maybe?
We also rode The Boomerang a couple of times, but as much as I enjoy roller coasters, it’s is a harrowing experience. That ride should be called The Colonoscopy —but I digress.
Just to top off a post that’s going downhill fast, I found it interesting that all the people operating the rides at the park were foreign workers here for the summer. We I know this is immature, but we got a big kick out out of the guy at The Alpine Sled: UFUK. That seemed funny, but this was after riding The Comet for an hour.Is it possible that repeated roller coaster trips reduce your intellect? If so, let’s hope it’s only temporary.
Categories: Kids
Tagged: entertainment, toilet paper, words
