Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward of She & Him craft a perfect little slice of retro 2:30 pop here —so it’s a little surprising when it takes a weird turn. That’s Halloween for you.
Entries from October 2008
Twisted
October 28, 2008 · 3 Comments
Charles O’Byrne, Governor David Paterson’s top guy, resigned last week after it was revealed he hadn’t been paying his taxes. During a press conference it was explained that O’Byrne suffered from “Late Filing Syndrome,” a little known psychological ailment that prevented him from fulfilling his civic duty. Naturally, this has been widely mocked on the internet. This is very unfair, because in truth there are many obscure conditions that perfectly normal people deal with every day. For example:
Put Off Raking the Leaves Syndrome
Symptoms: Leafy lawn. Neighbors stand in front of house and glare at you.
Forgot To Return Your DVD To Hollywood Video Syndrome
Symptoms: Onerous late charges. Spousal disdain.
Neglecting to Put The Garbage Out On Wednesday Night Syndrome
Symptoms: Foul odor in garage.
Didn’t Send Your Mother A Birthday Card Syndrome
Symptoms: Guilt.
Unwise Use of the Internet Syndrome
Symptoms: Embarrassment, possible loss of employment.
Right…so let’s cut Charles O’Byrne a break, shall we?
Categories: News
Tagged: current events
This Week In the Cutlery Department
October 26, 2008 · 3 Comments
Alright, it’s been established that if a woman gets angry she may use her shoe to attack you —but if she gets really, really angry she’s heading for the kitchen.
NORWICH, Conn. - A Norwich woman was arrested Wednesday night on charges she slashed a man with a meat cleaver during a domestic dispute.
WOODSTOCK, Ont. - Police have a woman in custody after a downtown stabbing early Thursday morning. A 45-year-old man was rushed to hospital around 12 a.m., after an altercation with a known suspect at a Dundas Street apartment. The Oxford Community Police Service said the man was found near Museum Square suffering from multiple stab wounds to the neck, back and chest after fleeing the residence.
GLASGOW, W.Va. - A Glasgow woman has been charged with throwing a knife and other kitchen utensils at the father of her children. Rachael Renee Payne, 28, is being held at South Central Regional Jail.
WARRINGTON, Pa. -It’s the season for scary movies, but a woman with a knife chasing a Warrington man Saturday afternoon was frighteningly real, police said. Kathy Sala, 49, wielded the knife as she chased a running man and the dog he was carrying down the 2200 block of Pileggi Road about 3:15 p.m., according to a criminal complaint released Wednesday.
SHREWSBURY, Mass. - A 29-year-old woman was arrested this week for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend with a kitchen knife. Lisa M. Zschuschen, of 12 Anglin Lane, allegedly broke into the home at that address about 9:30 Tuesday morning and attacked a sleeping Douglas R. White, identified in a police report as her romantic partner of four years.
Categories: News
Tagged: crime, men, relationships, Women
The Eternal Goat
October 24, 2008 · 1 Comment
As a lifelong Met fan, I take great pleasure in invoking the name Bill Buckner in front of the many obnoxious denizens of Red Sox Nation —but what Rep. John Yarmuth (D-Ky.) did yesterday was unconscionable.
At a congressional hearing on the credit crisis, Yarmuth compared the performance of former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, one time Treasury Secretary John Snow and SEC Chairman Christopher Cox to Bill Buckner’s famous error in the 1986 World Series.
“I feel like I’m looking at three Bill Buckners here,” said Yarmuth. “The ball went through your legs.”
Ouch! It’s one thing to razz a Red Sox fan about Buckner, but bring his name up on the floor of congress? To describe the biggest financial disaster in recent history? That’s just plain cold.
Let this be a lesson: screw up bad enough and you’ll still hear about it 22 years later. And coincidentally, 22 years is how long it will take for my 401K to recover.
Ha!
October 23, 2008 · No Comments
Maybe it’s just me, but it sure looks like the giant evil businessman in this political ad is urinating on the little people.
Categories: News
Tagged: advertising
A Brief Musical Interlude
October 15, 2008 · 4 Comments
1981, from my point of view.
Categories: Music
Tagged: personal history
There But For The Grace Of God
October 13, 2008 · 1 Comment
You don’t see a lot of people out on the street in the early morning before sunrise, so I was a little surprised when I found Dave.
I was heading toward home during my morning run when I spotted him walking unsteadily on the side of the road. With his back to the traffic, weaving slightly, he was an accident waiting to happen. I stopped to ask if he was OK. He wasn’t. He said his name was Dave and he’d walked from Albany and didn’t know where he was or where he was going. I had him sit down on a retaining wall by the sidewalk.
I rang the doorbell of the nearest house. When the unlucky homeowner looked out, sleepy and rumpled, I apologized for waking him and explained the situation. We have to call 9-1-1, I said. Tell them we need EMS.
He went into dick mode and said, “No, I’m calling the cops.”
How about you just let me call, I asked. That’s when he pretty much slammed the door in my face. I went to stand on the sidewalk with my new friend Dave as the guy in the house peered at us through the window. He topped it off by conspicuously latching the door.
Anyway, the cops showed up and I went on my way. I’m pretty sure they took Dave to the hospital. What the hell.
I guess I don’t blame the guy in the house for being rattled, and in the unlikely event that he’s ever wandering around in the dark alone, lost and disoriented, I hope somebody stops to help him.
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: fixing things
Forty Years Ago Today
October 9, 2008 · 1 Comment
Yes, my G.I. Joe was ready for duty. He had the deck commander set, the firefighting suit, the space capsule. See those kids in the commercial? That was me —even if I didn’t have a pool in my living room.
The announcer was right: G.I. Joe was the greatest.
Categories: Kids
Tagged: manly matters
Drunk Filter
October 7, 2008 · 1 Comment
There’s probably nothing that can stop you from drunk dialing, but now Gmail has a tool to prevent you from sending email you may regret later: Mail Goggles. This special feature tests your mental acuity with some simple math problems before allowing your message out of the gate.
I tried this today with the difficulty set at the easiest level, and while perfectly sober failed the test. You get sixty seconds to complete five questions —and fortunately the second time I passed and got my message through. Think of this as a breathalyzer for your email. If you have Gmail, go to Settings and look for Mail Goggles under Labs.
Considering some of the mail I get, maybe it would be a good idea if this were enabled on everyone’s email all the time.
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: technology
Mobbed
October 2, 2008 · 1 Comment
Growing up on Long Island, me and my friends were always interested in the Mafia. The newspapers were filled with lurid stories of mob hits and arrests —and the widow of a well known mafia boss lived down the block from my aunt. And then there was my friend’s father, who we always figured was involved in something illegal. It got to the point that whenever we saw some Italian looking guy drive by in a big car, we figured he was in the mafia. Especially if he was smoking a cigar.
Anyway, it all came rushing back when I saw this story in Newsday about the FBI digging for bodies on Long Island. Yes, the FBI described the job as “conducting a search for physical evidence on the ground,” but that’s obviously shorthand for “digging for bodies.” And how about those pesky reporters? Also from Newsday:
A man who identified himself as the owner of All County Flooring Supply, the business nearest to the Baiting Place Road investigation scene, declined to comment and asked a reporter to leave the store. “We have a business to run,” he said.
“Flooring supply,” indeed.
