Canis Vomitum

GRECK! HRUCKKK! ECKKKK!

That’s the sound you hear when a dog is puking on you at 2am. Believe me, it makes for a rude awakening.

Scarlett was experiencing some sort of stomach issue, and had for a day or two been barfing all over the house. This is like the pet owner equivalent of a hazmat incident, and has its own set of protocols:

  • Scoop up solid matter and discard
  • Vigorously wipe soiled area with wet towels
  • Use a steam carpet cleaner to sanitize area

A carpet cleaner is key for pet owners, because they rarely throw up on hard surfaces like tile. The pets, that is.

Anyway, as a light sleeper it doesn’t take much to jolt me awake. There must have been something in the deep, throaty gagging that precedes dog hurling that triggered my brain into panic mode, because my eyes opened just in time to see Scarlett spew dog vomit all over the bedspread onto my chest.

That may sound horrible, but people, I am an optimist. At least I didn’t get any on me.

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