Coffee the Hard Way


For some reason, there was coffee flowing down the outside of the caraffe — and it flowed right down into the electronic guts that turn it on and off. Not anymore.

After a period of weeping and gnashing of teeth, I went to the basement to dig out Plan-B: the Coleman 9-Cup Aluminum Coffee Pot.

This is a true American classic, even though these days it’s certainly made in China. These make coffee that will kick your ass six ways to Sunday, a dark and rich brew that’s not just caffeinated jet fuel, but dense with coffee grounds to boot. Mmmmm… chunky.

The Coleman has only seen the kitchen during the occasional power outage; its natural habitat is outdoors on the propane stove, where you sit tired and cold in a camp chair, waiting for the perking coffee to get sufficiently brown.

The internet informs me that our new coffee maker will be delivered today, and the Coleman goes back into the camping bin. I may take it out now and then anyway, along with the little propane burner.

To me, coffee often tastes better outside, like when you’re sitting on the deck early in the morning. Even better when it’s brewed under the big sky, chunks and all.


Hey, everybody: see this mug? This is the mug that I drink coffee from every single morning, so I’d like to suggest that we refrain from putting these things in there:

-Cigarette butts and ashes
-Bacon grease
-Assorted garbage, such as gum or candy wrappers
-Used personal care products

And just because maybe I accidentally left this coffee mug in your room doesn’t mean you can deposit disgusting items in there. I will not mention what I found in there last week.

Also: if you are a guest in my house and require a receptacle to hold something overnight, like, ohhhh… let’s say a partial denture, I would be happy to provide you with an appropriate container. My coffee mug is not an appropriate container.

You are welcome to use this mug for enjoying a hot beverage, but not between the hours of 4am and Noon. If you do use it, please put it in the dishwasher rather than in the sink along with everything else you all leave for me to clean up.

Thank you,

The Proprieter