I’m still working on my Christmas card…and longing for simpler times.
Entries categorized as ‘Uncategorized’
Boys Will Be Boys
September 25, 2008 · 1 Comment
From the Arizona Republic. Please pay particular attention attention to the final sentence:
Vomit From ASU Frat Members May Have Caused Crash
Eight to 10 members of an Arizona State University fraternity are believed to have caused a car accident by vomiting milk onto traffic below an ASU footbridge on University Drive Tuesday night.
The incident caused a woman to rear-end another vehicle at about 6 p.m. after that vehicle stopped to avoid the vomit, according to Sgt. Scott Smith a spokesman for the Tempe Police Department.
The woman and her young daughter suffered minor injuries. The woman was cited for the accident, according to Smith. It is unknown why the men were drinking and vomiting the milk.
Categories: Uncategorized
Patchy
August 20, 2008 · 2 Comments
The nurse asked me, “How long will this take to grow back?”
She was shaving patches of hair off my body so she could attach EKG electrodes during my annual physical: three on the chest and one on each calf. How long to grow back? No idea —but certainly not in time for vacation on the beach.
Thanks to some bizarre brew of genetic happenstance, I am uncommonly hairy. No, I’m not real happy about this turn of fate, but what the hell? You play the hand you’re dealt. Oh sure, I’ve considered manscaping, but I don’t even like getting the hair on my head cut. Fortunately, Ann says she likes me just the way I am. If not for that -or if I were single or something- I’d be off to be waxed, trimmed, lasered…whatever it would take.
Last year on the beach a nearby family made no secret of their interest in my dog-like appearance. They gawked at me from their blanket, gesturing in my direction and chattering in amazement. Since they were speaking a foreign language I can’t give you a direct translation, but the inflection said, “Oh! Look at the hairy man!” They were obviously from a place where body hair is not the norm. My son Alex says, “Maybe they worship hairy people where they come from. Or monkeys.”
Anyway, the chest hair has mostly recovered from being sheared, but I still have two bare patches on my legs. And next time I go to the doctor I’ll be sure to do it in November.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: dogs, manly matters, personal health
A Brief Video Interlude
August 18, 2008 · No Comments
It only takes about four seconds to know that this spot could only be from Nike, a company that understands its brand like no other. And it certainly doesn’t hurt that they have a huge pile of money to spend on creative, either.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: advertising
Countdown to The Fourth of July
July 3, 2008 · 6 Comments
You know the story: it’s the day before a holiday and nobody feels like doing any work. I’d like to help you waste ten minutes of your employer’s time with this amazing video. Extra credit if you can name all 100 movies.
Categories: Uncategorized
May The Road Rise Up to Beat You
July 1, 2008 · 6 Comments
My niece is getting married Friday, and I was very honored that she asked me to recite the well known Irish blessing that begins, “May the road rise up to meet you…” You know the one. Being half Irish, I take the Irish stuff seriously. The other half is Italian, and I believe that I’ve inherited all the best traits of both these famously cool headed and forgiving people.
She asked that I memorize it, and I figured this is a no-brainer, because that thing is only like two or three lines, right? Wrong. I opened her email and discovered it’s 16 lines long:
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
May true be the hearts that love you;
May pure be the joys that surround you.
May you see your children’s children,
May the hand of a friend always be near.
May you know nothing but happiness, from this day forward.
May God be with you and bless you,
May He hold you in the palm of His hand.
And may Almighty God bless you, and all of us.
Uh, oh. I’m going to ruin the wedding.
Categories: Marriage · Uncategorized
Tagged: family
Unfinished Business
May 28, 2008 · 4 Comments
5/26/08 - Written on Back of Napkin
Why’s David Paterson so popular with the ladies? He has a cute glaucoma.
4/23/08 - Dinner Conversation
Zack: If Alex was on death row, would you make him his favorite food as a last meal?
Ann: Did he try to kill me, too?
Zack: No, he just killed someone else.
Ann: Yes.
4/19/08 - Unfinished Blog Post
Getting old. It blows, doesn’t it? I’ve been fighting aging by acting more immature, but the jury’s still out on how this is working out.
Undated - Scrawled on Back of Deposit Slip
Xcuse me? Are you off your meds?
Undated - Folded Up Post It Note
ortho bucks…ipods…needles…eyelids…has mono “i’m not getting mono”…jesus c.s…group discuss…
5/2/08 - Unfinished Blog Post
So Zack whispers to me in church, “That’s cool.” Cool? “Yeah, cool.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“The axe. It’s cool.” What?!
“The axe of the Apostles. You know. They had axes. That’s cool.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: blogging, crime, current events, Kids, Religion
The Thursday Thing
May 1, 2008 · No Comments
Winner’s Circle: Madeo shot out of the final turn yesterday, coming from behind to take a narrow victory in the 7th race at Hollywood Park (AP story here). He paid $8.20. After we watched the race, Zack says, “That was great! This is what we should do when there’s no football on.” Uh, oh…
What Not To Eat: I was totally interested in having Chinese food tonight until I read this. And I thought eating dogs in Korea was bad. Olympic travellers beware!
iPod Playlist: I’ve been obsessively listening to this song “I Will Possess Your Heart” by Death Cab For Cutie. By obsessive I mean like over a hundred times this week. Death Cab frontman Ben Gibbard writes in Paste Magazine: “The song is basically about a stalker. It’s about this nice guy who wants this girl he can’t have, and he believes they’ll be together once she realizes how great he is—he just has to wait it out.” Wow. That sounds just like me and Ann.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: eating, gambling, Kids, sports
Katie Tried
April 11, 2008 · No Comments
There will be folks who try to tell you Katie Couric didn’t make it anchoring CBS Evening News because she’s a woman. With all due respect, that’s not the reason: it’s because she stinks. There are half a dozen women on cable and network news who would have been better in that anchor seat on day one —and by now they’d be stars. From the outset, Couric’s been wooden and uncomfortable. Her show moves with the painful gait of someone wearing shoes three sizes too small. And squeezing into that role has been her undoing.
Hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.
Categories: News · Uncategorized
Tagged: tv
