Category Archives: Work

When attending a small meeting — let’s say in a conference room — it’s considered good business etiquette to introduce yourself to people. At my workplace that’s rarely done. Instead, folks tend to completely ignore those they don’t know — and seem surprised and startled by introductions.

One day, I arrived at a meeting and another early bird was busily doing a crossword puzzle. I introduced myself (yes, she appeared surprised and startled) and went about preparing for my presentation. She looked up at one point and said those at the table, “NY Giants founder and longtime owner Tim…. four letters.”

“Mara,” says I.

This would be a good time to tell you that I am impressed with people who do crossword puzzles. OK, maybe not the TV Guide crossword puzzle, but most crossword puzzles.

Anyway, as the meeting started, she continued working intently on the crossword. And as I gave my presentation she didn’t look up once, instead focused on her task. At the end of the meeting? Still doing the puzzle.

It’s possible that she just didn’t find the meeting interesting — many meetings are not. Or it could be that she’s sharp enough to concentrate on two completely different things at once. But there’s a third possibility: she just doesn’t understand how to behave at work.

No skin off my teeth. You want to listen, listen. You want to do puzzles, have at it. Just remember, the only thing worse than not having the answers is not having a clue.

I remember my boss stopping by once saying he had some good news. What could it be? Are they giving me a raise? Letting me hire another staff member? Painting my office?

“We’ve decided to send you the Franklin Covey time management class!”

Oh. Wonderful. Thanks. I didn’t actually have to say those things out loud, because I’ve always had a tough time working the poker face. He seemed disappointed that I wasn’t excited.

I rallied. “No, that’s great. Who couldn’t use some instruction on how to write things down on a calendar?”

When someone sends you to time management class, they’re trying to tell you something. It’s like sending you to anger management class. It’s not because you’re great at managing your anger.

So I smiled and thanked him, all the while thinking, “Yeah, right. Like I can’t keep my calendar straight.”

So maybe a month rolls by, and one day I’m sitting at my desk. Suddenly I jumped up in the air. “Holy, sh*t! The Franklin Covey thing!”

I dug through the papers on my desk and found what I was looking for, a flyer about the class. Not only was it that day, but it had started two hours earlier.

I didn’t tell anybody that I’d missed my $200 training, but instead quietly rescheduled for another date. I eventually took the class and learned to be a highly effective time manager.

Now it’s time to share with you the secret: write things down on a calendar and look at it all the time. There. I just saved you $200.

To: Maiden Lane Parking
From: Rob Madeo
Re: Garage at 11 South Pearl Street

First, let me say what a fan I am of your parking lots and garages. Judging by their immaculate upkeep and attentive customer service, it’s obvious that your company takes great pride in the facilities you operate.

That is why I’d like to join the ranks of your satisfied customers.

For a quarter century I was able to park just a few steps from my office. That changed in September. Now getting to work means parking on the outskirts of Albany and climbing on a shuttle bus to get downtown.
As you can imagine, this is very inconvenient, especially on days when I’d prefer to have my car nearby.

From my office window I’ve noticed that the spaces on the roof of your garage at 11 South Pearl Street are underutilized. I am guessing this is because customers would rather not park where their cars will be exposed to the elements.

In order to better use your resources and address my parking situation, I am proposing to pay you $50 per month for the privilege of parking on the roof of that garage. I realize that this is significantly less than the normal rate of $140 per month, but as they say, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Additionally, leasing me a space will reduce the inventory of available parking in Downtown Albany. This will have the effect of increasing the value of your property.

Please let me know if this sounds like an agreeable arrangement. I’d be willing to begin on Monday, June 7; I’m sure it would be a most satisfactory relationship for both of us.

It’s interesting that Microsoft, the same people who brought us those remarkably lame Jerry Seinfeld commercials, do workplace education on being funny. They consider humor to be a core competency for successful employees. Maybe they should require it of their ad agency.

This is an outline of Microsoft’s lesson on humor in the workplace, which includes a list of signs that you overuse humor:

• May disrupt group process with untimely or inappropriate humor
• May use humor to deflect real issues and problems
• May use humor to criticize others and veil an attack
• May use humor to deliver sarcasm or cynicism
• May be perceived as immature or lacking in appropriate seriousness
• His/her humor may be misinterpreted

If three or more of those apply to you, you need help. If you’ve engaged in three or more of those today, report directly to your EAP office. See you there.

I’m no stranger to inappropriate workplace humor. Once, while I was on vacation, my boss convened a focus group of employees to critique my work. Hell, who could be more objective than people trying to suck up to the boss? As you can imagine, I found this infuriating.

A week later was the company picnic. It was a swell event, with a clown for the children, loads of food, beer on tap. So the boss asks if we’re having a good time. Instead of just saying yes, I blurt out, “Yeahhh… but what do you say we gather the kids together and have a focus group on the clown.”

Cue the icy stare.

To summarize, successful workplace humor requires that your consider your audience, context, and timing. If possible, eliminate beer from the equation.