Category Archives: Work

On Humor in the Workplace

It’s interesting that Microsoft, the same people who brought us those remarkably lame Jerry Seinfeld commercials, do workplace education on being funny. They consider humor to be a core competency for successful employees. Maybe they should require it of their ad agency.

This is an outline of Microsoft’s lesson on humor in the workplace, which includes a list of signs that you overuse humor:

• May disrupt group process with untimely or inappropriate humor
• May use humor to deflect real issues and problems
• May use humor to criticize others and veil an attack
• May use humor to deliver sarcasm or cynicism
• May be perceived as immature or lacking in appropriate seriousness
• His/her humor may be misinterpreted

If three or more of those apply to you, you need help. If you’ve engaged in three or more of those today, report directly to your EAP office. See you there.

I’m no stranger to inappropriate workplace humor. Once, while I was on vacation, my boss convened a focus group of employees to critique my work. Hell, who could be more objective than people trying to suck up to the boss? As you can imagine, I found this infuriating.

A week later was the company picnic. It was a swell event, with a clown for the children, loads of food, beer on tap. So the boss asks if we’re having a good time. Instead of just saying yes, I blurt out, “Yeahhh… but what do you say we gather the kids together and have a focus group on the clown.”

Cue the icy stare.

To summarize, successful workplace humor requires that your consider your audience, context, and timing. If possible, eliminate beer from the equation.

Enough Already!

It’s always nice to know that your legacy lives on. Almost always.

I was in lots of promos when I worked at Channel 13. You do this when you work in local TV, not because you love seeing yourself on the tube, but because it’s cheaper and easier than using real actors. Usually the spots would run for a couple of days and disappear forever. But not this one.

Two years later it’s still going strong — in fact I think it’s running more now. Do me a favor. Go over and comment on a story — any story. If enough people leave comments maybe you won’t have to see my mug in your face every time you turn on the TV.

I Mock Your Tiny Doppler

OK, so it’s not cool to make fun of the size of somebody’s Doppler. I did this spot back in 2000 when WRGB erected their own Doppler radar outside their studio in Niskayuna. They went on the air claiming Doppler superiority —and we wanted to let folks know that their radar was more like a toy than a mighty tool for deeply probing the weather.

WRGB had just started airing a spot with meteorologist Steve LaPointe actually scaling the steel tower and then rappelling down. It was a meaningless but memorable stunt that demanded a firm response. Here it is:

It never aired. Management was leery of pointing and laughing at WRGB’s little radar —and since the consultants in Iowa agreed it was killed. That’s probably best. I don’t think anyone wanted to hear Channel 6 explaining that it’s not the size of your Doppler that matters, but how you use it. Even the weather war has rules of engagement.

Keep Stalling

Men are blessed with the ability to relieve themselves almost anywhere: behind bushes, in bottles, between cars, seated in football stadiums, in the subway… you get the idea. But here’s a case where you’re trying to do your thing where you should be doing it and you’re in plain sight anyway.

The men’s room at my new office has an electric door opener for those with physical disabilities. Well, it seems that some men on my floor (like the lawyers down the hall) enjoy using the electric opener so they don’t have to touch the handle. Fine —but it just so happens that this leaves the urinal user exposed and in plain site for a very long time, like to the folks getting off the elevator. See for yourself:

YouTube Preview Image

That’s ten seconds of exposure.

Look, I understand not wanting to touch the door handle, but come on guys, can I get a little privacy here? If you’re a germaphobe or something just push the door open with your elbow —and when you’re done use a paper towel to pull the handle from the other side. That’s not unreasonable.

Squirrely Squirrels

Got a text message the other day: Your squirrel friend is at the window for you.

I can’t remember exactly when I started feeding the squirrels outside my office window. In the beginning it was chunks of bagels or donuts that I’d swipe from the kitchenette in the sales department —but soon I was buying nuts at the grocery store and tossing them out onto the roof. The squirrels would dart around searching for their treats and carry them off to God knows where.

Pretty soon instead of throwing stuff out the window I began leaving it on the windowsill. Before long this became a regular stop on the squirrel itinerary as they dropped in to see what was on the menu. Sunflower seeds, candy, crackers, pretzels, Oreo cookies —you name it. It was not unusual to look outside and have a squirrel looking back at you.

This was all very cute until we accidentally left a window open one Friday afternoon. Monday morning our desks were covered with tiny footprints —and down the hall someone’s stash of M & Ms had been ripped open. There was candy everywhere: in coffee mugs, on bookshelves, and in every dark corner of the office. We were still finding it three years later.

I texted back: Get him a bag of granola from vending machine. I’ll pay you back.

How Did I Get Here, Anyway?

When I was in fourth grade they took us on a field trip to New York where we toured NBC at Rockefeller Center.

It was awesome. We peered into the news studio, created frying bacon sound effects by crinkling cellophane, and saw where Johnny Carson presided over the  Tonight Show. We also got to watch DJ Big Wilson doing his shift on WNBC-AM. That did it. From that day forward I wanted to work in radio or TV.

The rest of fourth grade was all about broadcasting. I made several shoebox dioramas showing TV studios with cables of string and clay figures standing behind cameras. My teacher, Mrs. Rice, did not approve . Years later I got to read her notes about me and it turns out she made a big point of the time wasted on these projects. What could be worse than a fourth grader wasting time?

At home I would huddle in my room spinning records and recording myself playing DJ on a reel-to-reel recorder. I’d read stories from the paper in a serious tone like the newscasters on the radio. Little did I know that they swiped many of their stories from the same place.

It was inevitable, really: a straight shot that landed me at the radio station and TV studios of SUNY Plattsburgh. The internship, the job, the second job and 24 years doing what I wanted since I was eight-years-old.

But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we’d visited a doctor’s office or law practice instead of NBC.

Weather In the Raw

Former local anchorman Ed Dague once decried my work as “dreck.”  Truth be told I felt the same way about his stuff but I understand where he was coming from.

TV news promotion is not the highest form of art in the ad world.  Mostly it’s bombastic, cliché-ridden, and overwrought —as if you can annoy people into watching your show. Thanks to the consultants who dictate the look and feel of local TV news in America it’s the same in every market.

And woe to the producer who breaks the mold.

Back in July I did some weather ads that spoofed the tried and true genre of man on the street spots. The premise: who needs an accurate forecast more than nudists? I cast a bunch of local actors to play members of the fictional “Henry Hudson Nudist Camp” and here’s what we came up with:

Henry Hudson Weather from Rob M on Vimeo.

This spot and two others aired for about twelve hours before they were yanked off the air.

The way it was explained to me was that “80% of our audience will get the joke and the other 20% will be offended.” In other words, 20% of the people out there are not smart enough to understand what they’re watching.

I always tried to do my job as if 100% of the viewers were smart. My bad.

TV Is Not Rocket Science

There are geniuses among us and many of them work at GE Global Research in Niskayuna, NY. Just a few miles from where Charles Steinmetz helped GE harness the power of electricity and change the world, today’s best brains are pioneering new technology that will carry us into the future. At least that’s what I thought until I read this:

Global Research also supports General Electric Co.’s NBC Universal division, which operates TV networks including NBC, Bravo and USA.The folks in Niskayuna have been helping schedule TV shows by developing software systems for the network executives who decide the lineup of shows.

Whoa! This is a little like bragging you designed the O-rings on the space shuttle Challenger.

I don’t have a PhD but I’ve seen enough rating books to know that the whole NBC schedule thing is nothing to write home about lately. My advice? Stick to the lasers, fuel cells, hover cars, and whatever else you mess around with up there. What NBC needs is some good shows —not scientific scheduling.

This Week In the World of Advertising

You know, a commercial that shows a dog urinating would never get on the air —and neither would spots that have nudists talking about your weatherman.

YouTube Preview Image

Summer’s Bounty

A week ago the contents of this jar were resting comfortably in a Kinderhook, NY strawberry patch. The peas were nestled in their pods like… well, like peas in a pod. The weather’s been miserable this season for humans but the fruits and vegetables seem to be having a wonderful time.

I’ve written before about how people accustomed to supermarkets enjoy spending a few hours harvesting their own food. As we plucked strawberries, picked peas, pulled garlic from the dirt, and filled baskets with cherries we could see the farmhands doing their chores. Like us they kept an eye on the thunderheads that have been with us every day.

The foreign workers our farms rely on must think it weird that the gringos come out to the fields and do this for fun. It would be interesting to trade places for a day with one of them. I get the feeling that we’d each be eager to get back to our real jobs by the end of the day.