The orthodontists where I sent my kids are at it again with their Halloween candy buy back program.
Here’s how it works: patients receive $2 for each pound of candy they bring to the braces factory. As an added incentive, for each pound collected the orthodontists donate $2 to a scholarship fund. That’s nice — they’re putting $4 per pound behind this.
But wait a second, look at this:
Candy will be donated to the Capital Region Food Bank
So let me get this straight: candy is bad for our patients, but it’s OK to give it away at the food bank to kids who are too poor to afford braces.
In defiance of this stupid idea that kids shouldn’t have candy on Halloween, I decided it was time for a gesture: full size candy bars. That’s right, no of “fun size” nonsense at my house this Halloween.
It’s my sincere wish that none of this candy ends up at that orthodontist office — and by the way, if you ask me, there is nothing fun about “fun size” candy bars.
When did Halloween become about teaching children not to eat candy? I’m sorry if it means you have a few extra brackets and bands to fix this week, but save your lessons for another day and let children be children.
If you really want to stop the little darlings from munching on chewy treats and ruining the tooth scaffolding, charge the parents a pile of money to fix the damage. That might work.