Free Advice for Talk 1300!

It’s not easy breaking the talk radio addiction. I don’t actually learn anything and it just makes me angry — worse yet, sometimes it almost makes me want to pick up the phone and call in. Dear God, help me!

So, instead of knocking talk radio I’d like to help talk radio by making it better, and that’s why I’m starting a business as a talk radio consultant. To help drum up clients, I’m offering one free consultation. Today’s is for Paul Vandenburgh at Talk 1300.

Hey, Paul! How’s it going? Congratulations on hiring Al Roney. That was smart!

Listen, no hard feelings on you calling me a slug, a creep, and a punk. Water under the bridge — but we need to talk about your insistence on calling NY State Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Andrew Cuomo,  “Andy.”

Yes, I’m sure there are people who call him Andy — and true, a few media reports sometimes use the informal version of his name — but when you do it over and over again, day after day, well… it just sounds dumb.

And none of us want you sounding dumb, Mr. Vandenburgh!

I understand that it probably feels funny when it comes out of your mouth. Who hasn’t said something we think is funny that wasn’t? It’s pretty obvious why you’re doing it, because — with all due respect to the Andys out there — you’re trying to trivialize Cuomo. Rather like the way you always call Hillary Clinton “Mrs. Clinton.”

However, to give you an idea of how ridiculous it sounds, just imagine someone calling Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes, “Andrew Rooney.” Crazy, right?

You know, this is sort of like back in 2004 when you kept calling assault victim Joan Porco, Momma Porco. That was genuinely cringe inducing!

So, to summarize: stop saying “Andy Cuomo” and start sounding smarter today! I’ll be in touch with more information about how my business can help yours.

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