When You Gotta Go

I’m constantly having to stop to go to the bathroom, to the point that it’s a big joke in my family. Hahahaha… Dad’s going pee again. Hilarious.

Just to set the record straight, there’s nothing wrong with me, I just like to stay well-hydrated — and all that water has to go somewhere. As a result, I’ve peed in some pretty weird places — but one thing I’ve never done is take a leak on TV, like Chargers kicker Nick Novak.

There was 1:34 left in Sunday’s game against Denver and the score was tied at 13-13 — so really, the last thing a placekicker can do is disappear from the sidelines when the game hangs in the balance. This was his solution:

OK, that’s a bit crazy, but what would you do?

While ESPN The Magazine did a fascinating story about pooping during games, less has been written about urinating. If I were Novak I probably would have just let it rip, right in my pants, because it seems unlikely anyone would have noticed they were wet. I can’t speak for whether it would influence his kicking.

There is no easy answer to this situation — and Depends are out of the question when wearing such tight pants — but we must salute Mr. Novak for being able pee with so many people watching. That takes true concentration.

Unfortunately, Mr. Novak’s concentration failed him in overtime as he sent a 53-yarder wide right, and the Broncos went on to win the game.

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