Hallmark Moment

The new Coen brothers movie, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs certainly takes some grim turns. It’s a collection of old west stories, and five of the six chapters in the anthology end in doom or tragedy. Maybe that’s why I liked it so much.

And that’s a problem in my house.

I enjoy movies with unhappy endings, terrible twists, and plans gone bad. When you serve me humor, the darker the better. Things going wrong is more entertaining than things going right.

My wife’s tastes in film and TV are the polar opposite, and because Christmas is coming, that means the Hallmark Channel. By this time of year, they’ve gone 24/7 with their stock in trade holiday romance movies.

These Hallmark films are all very much the same: an outsider comes to town and there is a push and pull over the future of the local ranch/resort/nature preserve/inn or a conflict over some other cultural or business concern. By the end, the opposing parties fall in love and it all ends well.

You’d think that this makes for a complicated time when deciding what to watch, but it doesn’t. Because I’m a great husband, I sit and keep her company and dutifully keep my mouth shut.

It’s not always easy.

Now some advice if you’re thinking of getting married. If you’re the sort of person who will argue over what’s on the goddamn TV, do us all a favor and don’t get hitched. Spare yourself, your family, and your friends all the trouble you will cause by tying the knot. In fact, if you’re going to be unyielding and hardheaded about anything, maybe the marriage thing ain’t for you. It’s OK. But just think about it now before you waste your time — and ours.

13 responses to “Hallmark Moment

  1. I turn those movies into a game of trying to remember what other thing I have seen the actors in. Everyone in those movies has had a part in something else. I just sit on the couch thinking, “Oh, he was one of the bad guys in Spies Like Us” or “Isn’t he the kid from Dazed and Confused and she was in Rescue Me.”

    If I recall correctly, I had all these thoughts during a movie about a golden retriever that magically appears to bring two adults together that were friends for a few weeks one summer when they were kids. Spoiler Alert: it all works out on Christmas Eve.

  2. It’s give and take to balance things out

    • Well, yes. We had one TV for 30 years — and now that there’s a second one, I necer go off to watch on my own. I have been known to sit and watch somethinh on the tablet, though…

  3. Millenial Albanite

    My fiance and I were advised to watch a series on YouTube called “What Happy Couples Know” and you describe a core concept in the series. Congrats on being happy!

  4. Fortunately the bride and I both enjoy the light-hearted humor of Blood Simple, Fargo, and Miller’s Crossing.

  5. If MAMA ain’t happy, no one is happy!

  6. Happy wife, happy life

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