I Hate Rudolph the Reindeer

It’s troublesome that people are choosing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer over The Grinch Who Stole Christmas in the Times Union’s Most Specialest Holiday Specials Face-Off Ever. Troublesome because I hate Rudolph.

Hear me out.

Yes, Rudolph is endearing — and many of you have a soft spot for it from when we were children — but behind the treacly stop motion sweetness is a story of bad parenting, sexual longing, and narcissism.

Could anyone possibly be more self absorbed than Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? Oh, my nose is red! Everybody hates me! Why can’t I have Clarice?

Rudolph is an irrepressible whiner. What does it teach kids? Complain. Feel sorry for yourself. Run away from trouble. Don’t even get me started on Hermey.

Sure, in the end Rudolph shines — but only after Santa comes and begs him for help.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, on the other hand, is a story of redemption. The Grinch is motivated by hatred — but ultimately discovers the true meaning of Christmas. It’s a beautifully written story, for Dr. Seuss really was a genius of human nature — not just some hack looking to turn a buck.

I’m sure many of you will disagree, but stop and consider the facts. And please cast your vote for The Grinch.

12 responses to “I Hate Rudolph the Reindeer

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