Entries tagged as ‘advertising’
I write a lot of copy every week. Mostly it’s not worth $65,000 per word, but I was especially proud of this sentence: A NEW HOME FOR DOGS LIVING LIKE PIGS IN THE FILTHY HOUSE OF A NEGLECTFUL BREEDER. If dogs are living like pigs, you know things are really bad.
Now this from the amusing typo file: WHEN NEW YORK STATE BUILT THE THRUWAY, THEY PROMISED TO ELIMINATE TROLLS SOME DAY. That’s very good since there are so many bridges on the Thruway.
Here’s an especially absurd idea: SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT YOUR CAR MAKES A STATEMENT; COMING UP, THE STORY OF A CAR THAT DOESN’T JUST MAKE A STATEMENT, IT SHOUTS OUT A MESSAGE OF PEACE AND TOLERANCE. I wonder if that’s covered under the warranty?
Next, there’s something wrong here but I’m not sure what: HANSON-MANIA STRIKES THE CAPITAL REGION —AND WE FELT QUITE A SURGE OF IT RIGHT HERE AT CHANNEL 13 TODAY! OK, that’s what’s wrong: saying surge, mania, and Hanson in the same five seconds .
Finally, my favorite literary technique, good news/bad news: NICE WEATHER —BUT DANGEROUSLY DRY. LIVE AT ELEVEN.
Categories: Work
Tagged: advertising, cars, dogs, words
We’re in the wrong business. Statmats, a company that specializes in marketing and advertising for higher education got paid $260,000 to pen this slogan for UAlbany: The World Within Reach. A UAlbany student wrote to the newspaper complaining that this prices out at $65,000 a word. He must be a math major.
I’ve come up with a slogan or two in my time. In fact, if you live near Albany you might recognize them. I was not paid $65,000 per word, but using that as a benchmark, my most lucrative single job (eight words) would have netted me $520,000. One of the words in that one was “there’s.” Believe me, if I were being paid by the word, I would never have used a contraction in that slogan. It would have been “there is” and I would have pocketed an extra sixty-five large. Ha.
It may sound like I’m being absurd to make a point, but I’m not. Some of the things I wrote were worth $65,000 per word if not many times more. Seriously. Think about it: how much do you think “Just Do It” was worth per word? Or “Mmm…Mmm…Good?” Mmm isn’t even a word, but its value to Campbell Soup is easily in the nine figure range.
If this UAlbany thing ends up another hollow phrase that means nothing, as many slogans do, then they’ve thrown the money away. If they embrace it and makes it part of their being -if they live it and breathe it and believe it- then they’ve made a great investment.
Categories: Work
Tagged: advertising, marketing, words
Honda has a whole campaign to make minivans look cool called Respect the Van. As someone who’s been called a loser once or twice for driving a Honda Odyssey, I say right on. Those who disrespect the van need a wake up call. For example, my van can be linked to Greek mythology, because like Odysseus it’s been to both Troy and Ithaca. You might also say that it’s been tempted by deadly Sirens since I drive it to fire calls. Has your car been tempted by deadly Sirens, like Odysseus and my van? I think not. Hey, I stopped trying to look cool a long time ago, and after all, why would I want to drive a BMW 750i when I can have the van? As for the idea that a man’s car represents something else, we turn to Peter Sagal, host of the quiz show Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me! on NPR:
If a sports car is a symbol for the owner’s manhood, well, my manhood is capacious and large, and like Walt Whitman, contains multitudes. And, improving on Whitman, my manhood has a luggage rack. -Morning Edition 4/26/07
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: advertising, cars, greek mythology, manly matters
When WNYT producer Sheila Conolly needed an irate middle-aged man for a news promo, she knew exactly where to find one. I’ve been in lots of spots, but for some reason, everyone and their brother saw this one. Now -everywhere I go- people are wagging their finger at me, saying “Don’t talk back!” I stopped running it on the air so much after a barista at Starbucks recognized me. Now I keep the shades on when I’m jonesing for a non-fat latte, what with my newfound fame and all. Even after all this time, I forget that the TV is a powerful and potentially dangerous tool. Watch it here: (more…)
Categories: Work
Tagged: advertising, bad acting, coffee, tools, tv
