Heard It Through The Bovine
Feeling a need to cozy up with my neighbors, I started contributing to the TU’s Bethlehem Blog. My first post, a reprint of the Bethlehem Soccer Club/Nazi Eagle item drew the hostile response I predicted. This week, I put up something about the new tattoo parlor in town. This is a departure from the happy mommy/charming village/rah-rah stuff that’s mostly on that blog.
Ann says to me, “Are they paying you?” No, I explain, but remember what they say: do what you love and the money will follow. “Oh, yeah? They also say ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’”
Off And Running
Madeo returns tomorrow in the $75,000 Alydar Stakes at Hollywood Park. Mike Smith, who brought the colt from behind to win on April 30th, will take the mount once again. Haven’t seen early odds yet, but expect Madeo and Harlene to be favorites. The Alydar is tomorrow’s second race and post time will be about 4:50 east coast time. With six horses running some exotic betting may be in order.
This One’s For The Ladies
A local woman was charged with murder after allegedly stabbing her ex-boyfriend to death on a Troy street corner. She had earlier keyed his car and was also charged with criminal mischief.
Paul Grondahl’s story in the TU today starts like this: “Jeff Powers died for love.” It tells how Powers, 22, fell thirty feet while scaling the outside of his girlfriend’s apartment building. They’d had a fight and she asked him to leave. He was determined to see her.
You don’t have to look far to find examples of men doing exactly the wrong thing. Last week, two Amsterdam men were arrested after the broad daylight murder of Jose Payano. Police Chief Thomas Brownell called it “a case of jealousy out of control.” In Washington County, a teen was released on bail after being accused of threatening to kill his girlfriend and dozens of classmates at Cambridge High School. A 62-year-old man was charged with unlawful imprisonment and attempted rape after allegedly holding three different women against their will. Yes, 62-years-old.
When it comes to trouble men have tremendous potential. And at the three way intersection of love, rage, and jealousy, some will get hurt, some will go to jail, and some will never go home.
It’s really important to use the right cut of lumber for the job at hand. We can find an example of using the wrong dimension in this story from WNYT:
AMSTERDAM – Two adults and one juvenile were transported to the hospital Friday night after a large fight, according to Amsterdam police. They say the altercation happened on Green Street and Kimball Street around 6:45 pm. Police say a large group of juveniles and adults were fighting with 2 x 4 boards as weapons.
While a 2 x 4 is imposing, it’s very difficult to get a good grip on it. Why not use a 2 x 2 instead? It’s a lightweight alternative that you can easily wrap your hand around. Don’t forget: take the time to inspect your wood for flaws and knots, especially if you’ll be using it in a visible location —like out on the street in front of your house.
Last week we told you about the local cop in trouble for allegedly firing his potato gun at work. Today the TU has a B1 item that digs deeper into potato gun culture. The David Filkins story -his beat includes dumb guy stuff- makes it clear that spud shooting may be fun, but:
That does not mean penalties are less severe for those who use a potato cannon rather than a gun to commit a crime. Killing someone with a potato instead of a bullet would not mean a lighter sentence.
Interesting. I wonder if Dr. Michael Baden could determine that someone was killed by a potato, even if the potato had decomposed? Anyway, Filkins caught flack last Fall for writing about a Delmar man whose hobby is speeding on the Northway. People will probably complain that today’s story encourages kids to build potato guns —as if there aren’t enough examples of potato gun fun (and mayhem) on YouTube.
Posted in News
Tagged bad ideas, crime, diy, men
Gentlemen: there is a razor thin line that separates romantic from creepy. Knowing the location of this line is valuable. Let’s say there’s a fine young lady that you fancy. On her birthday, surprising her with a card would be a nice touch, right? Of course it would —unless you discovered her date of birth by running her plate number through your computer at DMV. And then you kind of sneak up and give her the card in the parking lot. That won’t get you a date, but it might get you fired. And maybe arrested. And very possibly named in an order of protection. You see, this was a good idea but it was poorly executed.
Remember: in matters of the heart, execution is everything.
Guys do dumb stuff. We are genetically hard wired to do so, and you can read about it every day in your morning paper. Case in point, the Glenville police officer accused of firing a potato gun at work. Oh, yeah —it’s also alleged that he was lighting off entire cases of police-issued flares, which must have been awesome.
In case you’ve never heard of a potato gun, it’s described in the article as a “type of contraption that launches whole potatoes through PVC piping with the use of pressurized air.” Actually, some guns launch the potato by the combustion of a flammable vapor like propane or hair spray, but I’m getting off the point. The point is that you should add firing potato guns and lighting flares to the growing list of things not to do at work.
Among those arrested in Friday’s $50M sports gambling bust were Albert “Waldo” Lounello, Joseph “Oink” Carucci, Joel “Penguin” Greenfield, and Louis “Bindy” Margiasso. This got me thinking I need a nickname, so I turned to the internet. They’ve go everything on the internet these days, so it took about two seconds to find the Mob Nickname Generator, and another two seconds to be issued the alias Six Toes. I rather like the sound of that. You’d probably be called Six Toes because you’re such a serious ass kicker, it’s like you have six toes. Or maybe because you literally have SIX TOES, which isn’t as cool, but still interesting. Feel free to post your new mob nickname in comments. To save you the trouble, I looked up the mob names of a few well known local figures… Continue reading “Six Toes” »