Tag: diy

Handyman Corner

It’s really important to use the right cut of lumber for the job at hand. We can find an example of using the wrong dimension in this story from WNYT:

AMSTERDAM – Two adults and one juvenile were transported to the hospital Friday night after a large fight, according to Amsterdam police. They say the altercation happened on Green Street and Kimball Street around 6:45 pm. Police say a large group of juveniles and adults were fighting with 2 x 4 boards as weapons.

While a 2 x 4 is imposing, it’s very difficult to get a good grip on it. Why not use a 2 x 2 instead? It’s a lightweight alternative that you can easily wrap your hand around. Don’t forget: take the time to inspect your wood for flaws and knots, especially if you’ll be using it in a visible location —like out on the street in front of your house.

Automobile Repair 101

Nothing’s more satisfying than handing someone a pile of cash to do something you could yourself with the right tools. And a hydraulic lift. And maybe a class at HVCC. But after a $500 brake job, you don’t expect to hear a grating noise when your car is backing up. And I did.

SCRAPE-SCRAPE-SCRAPE! What the f…? That can’t be right. Not after my $500 BRAKE JOB! I pull out of the parking space and there it is again. SCRAPETY-SCRAPETY-SCRAPE. Now I’m furious —and getting ready to drive up (street name deleted) and march right into (repair shop deleted) to give those crooks a piece of my mind. A typical guy reaction at this point is to think, “Hmmmm. Maybe I can fix this myself.” Since ancient times this has been the undoing of many fine men, but I stuck my head under the fender and inspected the place where the wheel is connected to the that other thing. Nothing. I dropped to my belly and edged under the car. Well, that’s your problem right there. I reached way back and yanked out a branch that had stuck to the undercarriage. The rest of the afternoon? I basked in the smug satisfaction of my manly trifecta: smart, handy, and thrifty.

Prevention

Ann was a little under the weather this week with a stomach bug. Always the caring and sensitive husband, when I got home from work I handed her the Clorox Clean-Up and asked her to wipe down the doorknobs, handles, and any other objects she may have touched. Did you get the remote? She waved a finger at me, and it wasn’t her index finger. Alrighty then.

Look, let’s get this straight: I’m not a germaphobe. If I were a germaphobe, would I allow the the dog eat pasta out of my mouth —and we’re not talking “Lady and The Tramp” style, we’re talking penne. Exactly. And if I were a germaphobe, would I consume perfectly good food that someone carelessly left in the kitchen garbage, or reach elbow deep into the sewer pipe in the basement? I rest my case. This isn’t about germs, this is a public health issue, and if you ask me that’s everyone’s responsibility.

You didn’t touch the refrigerator did you? She gave me that cute little wave again.

Tater Shots

Last week we told you about the local cop in trouble for allegedly firing his potato gun at work. Today the TU has a B1 item that digs deeper into potato gun culture. The David Filkins story -his beat includes dumb guy stuff- makes it clear that spud shooting may be fun, but:

That does not mean penalties are less severe for those who use a potato cannon rather than a gun to commit a crime. Killing someone with a potato instead of a bullet would not mean a lighter sentence.

Interesting. I wonder if Dr. Michael Baden could determine that someone was killed by a potato, even if the potato had decomposed? Anyway, Filkins caught flack last Fall for writing about a Delmar man whose hobby is speeding on the Northway. People will probably complain that today’s story encourages kids to build potato guns —as if there aren’t enough examples of potato gun fun (and mayhem) on YouTube.

Imp of the Perverse

Guys do dumb stuff. We are genetically hard wired to do so, and you can read about it every day in your morning paper. Case in point, the Glenville police officer accused of firing a potato gun at work. Oh, yeah —it’s also alleged that he was lighting off entire cases of police-issued flares, which must have been awesome.
In case you’ve never heard of a potato gun, it’s described in the article as a “type of contraption that launches whole potatoes through PVC piping with the use of pressurized air.” Actually, some guns launch the potato by the combustion of a flammable vapor like propane or hair spray, but I’m getting off the point. The point is that you should add firing potato guns and lighting flares to the growing list of things not to do at work.

Monkey Business

So the heel starts coming apart on my favorite dress shoes and I get out crear the Gorilla Glue. Twelve-year-old Zack walks in and gapes at me, launching into a rant about my reckless disregard for the earth and its creatures. What are you talking about, I ask. Gorilla Glue dad? Gorilla cheap mlb jerseys Glue! What’s wrong with you —you’re using glue made from gorillas? Aren’t they endangered? I turn the bottle Milchbüechli-Rechnung around and show him that “gorillas” cheap mlb jerseys are not listed on the wholesale nba jerseys ingredients. He’s not satisfied, so I go to the internet novembre and find the technical data. Plenty of Diphenylmethane-diisocyanate, but no gorillas. My shoe is fixed, but if I develop foot cheap nfl jerseys cancer someday, of please remember that I documented the use of this hazardous product of on wholesale nfl jerseys my blog. Photo And that I did Flaming my part to save the gorillas.