Entries tagged as ‘Marriage’
THY NEIGHBOR’S INTERNET
I am writing to you from the popular WiFi hot spot known as the neighbor’s wireless connection. I know that’s ethically questionable, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind —especially if they knew I was doing something important. After all, this is Ocean Bay Park, where the citizens practice an easygoing laissez-faire lifestyle —and if I’m going to have to hear your freakin’ stereo at 2am, I’ll help myself to your internet.
OVERHEARD ON THE FIRE ISLAND FERRY
“You watchin’ any Olympics?”
“Yeah…I was watching the beach volleyball yesterday.”
“The men or women?”
“Men play beach volleyball?”
IN WHICH ROB GETS ALL JUDGMENTAL
Here’s what Elizabeth Edwards wrote last week:
“I am proud of the courage John showed by his honesty in the face of shame.”
That’s great, but maybe had John Edwards been courageous and honest enough not to cheat on his wife -while she was recovering from breast cancer- we could all share in her admiration for the former presidential candidate. Courage is not defined as fessing up when you get caught —but it could be described as sticking with the person you married when things get tough.
Categories: Modern Living · News · The Internets
Tagged: Marriage
So Ann says, “I went over my minutes last month.” You what? “I went over my minutes. Last month.” Really? How many minutes do you get? “Three-thousand.” After I wiped away the coffee that shot out my nose, I cleaned off the laptop and started doing the math. That’s a lot of minutes. It’s fifty hours, or if you prefer, two days and two hours. It’s a week at work these days —and seven nights worth of sleep. It’s a hundred episodes of Thirty Minute Meals.
I don’t think anyone has ever described me as “chatty,” especially not in regard to the phone. My calls are monosyllabic affairs of cryptic guy-speak: “Yeah. Uh-huh. Maybe. You got that right.” But Ann is obviously another story. She loves to talk and people love to talk to her. Sure, some of it is work, but mostly it’s what she does best, being a good friend to the people she cares about.
Maybe I can give her some of my minutes.
Categories: Marriage · Modern Living
Tagged: cell phones, family, Marriage, technology
I’m pretty sure that in ten years there will be big money in tattoo removal —in fact, if you can find a company that makes those tattoo erasing lasers, buy stock. I came home to find that Alex had celebrated his twentieth birthday with some new ink. He hoisted up his shirt and showed me his shoulder, and the brand new bloody skull with an eye patch. I said the first thing that came to mind: “Cool.” I caught hell for this later. “Your job,” I was informed, “Is not to tell him that it’s ‘Cool,’ your job is to tell him that it’s stupid.” I started to explain about how he’s expressing himself and he needs to make these decisions, and after all, it’s too late anyway. No dice. “Well,” I went on, “If he’d gotten a picture of Jesus tattooed on his back, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” That, I found, was not the best argument to make on Good Friday. Have a look at after the jump. (more…)
Categories: Kids
Tagged: bad ideas, family, Marriage, tattoos
I can cook and clean and do laundry as well as my mother, but let’s face it: there are some things that men are not able to handle. No, I’m not talking about childbirth, I am talking about corsages. Do not trust a man to order a corsage unless he’s given specific and exact instructions. We don’t know what you are wearing or what goes with it, nor do we particularly care. Yet if we call the florist to order a corsage -like I did for Easter today- the conversation goes like this:
Florist: What color flower would you like?
Me: I don’t know.
Florist: Well…what is she wearing?
Me: I have no idea. What goes with everything?
Florist: White.
Me: White is perfect.
Florist: What color ribbon would you like with that?
Me: It comes with a ribbon? Does that cost extra?
You get the idea. I ended up with a single white rose and a pale yellow ribbon. The ribbon, by the way, cost me nothing but goes with most everything. I will teach my sons that on Easter and Mother’s Day, flowers are nice but something that your wife can wear around all day long is even nicer.
Categories: Home
Tagged: Marriage, men, wisdom
