Alright, it’s been established that if a woman gets angry she may use her shoe to attack you —but if she gets really, really angry she’s heading for the kitchen.
NORWICH, Conn. - A Norwich woman was arrested Wednesday night on charges she slashed a man with a meat cleaver during a domestic dispute.
WOODSTOCK, Ont. - Police have a woman in custody after a downtown stabbing early Thursday morning. A 45-year-old man was rushed to hospital around 12 a.m., after an altercation with a known suspect at a Dundas Street apartment. The Oxford Community Police Service said the man was found near Museum Square suffering from multiple stab wounds to the neck, back and chest after fleeing the residence.
GLASGOW, W.Va. - A Glasgow woman has been charged with throwing a knife and other kitchen utensils at the father of her children. Rachael Renee Payne, 28, is being held at South Central Regional Jail.
WARRINGTON, Pa. -It’s the season for scary movies, but a woman with a knife chasing a Warrington man Saturday afternoon was frighteningly real, police said. Kathy Sala, 49, wielded the knife as she chased a running man and the dog he was carrying down the 2200 block of Pileggi Road about 3:15 p.m., according to a criminal complaint released Wednesday.
SHREWSBURY, Mass. - A 29-year-old woman was arrested this week for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend with a kitchen knife. Lisa M. Zschuschen, of 12 Anglin Lane, allegedly broke into the home at that address about 9:30 Tuesday morning and attacked a sleeping Douglas R. White, identified in a police report as her romantic partner of four years.
The truth about women is that women rule the world. They are sensible and sane, and when driven to action they are extremely effective. Don’t cross them. The Glens Falls Post Star this morning reports:
FORT ANN — A 43-year-old woman has been charged with felony assault for allegedly beating a man with a piece of lumber, police said. Barbara A. Weaver, of Route 40, allegedly hit a man she knows in the back of the head twice, causing injuries that required treatment at Glens Falls Hospital.
As for women being effective, watch this video of a woman catching a bat in her house. Yeah, that’s cool —but look closely and you can see her male companion cowering outside the door, handing her the bat catching supplies. Dude!
Last week we told you about the local cop in trouble for allegedly firing his potato gun at work. Today the TU has a B1 item that digs deeper into potato gun culture. The David Filkins story -his beat includes dumb guy stuff- makes it clear that spud shooting may be fun, but:
That does not mean penalties are less severe for those who use a potato cannon rather than a gun to commit a crime. Killing someone with a potato instead of a bullet would not mean a lighter sentence.
Interesting. I wonder if Dr. Michael Baden could determine that someone was killed by a potato, even if the potato had decomposed? Anyway, Filkins caught flack last Fall for writing about a Delmar man whose hobby is speeding on the Northway. People will probably complain that today’s story encourages kids to build potato guns —as if there aren’t enough examples of potato gun fun (and mayhem) on YouTube.
Guys do dumb stuff. We are genetically hard wired to do so, and you can read about it every day in your morning paper. Case in point, the Glenville police officer accused of firing a potato gun at work. Oh, yeah —it’s also alleged that he was lighting off entire cases of police-issued flares, which must have been awesome.
In case you’ve never heard of a potato gun, it’s described in the article as a “type of contraption that launches whole potatoes through PVC piping with the use of pressurized air.” Actually, some guns launch the potato by the combustion of a flammable vapor like propane or hair spray, but I’m getting off the point. The point is that you should add firing potato guns and lighting flares to the growing list of things not to do at work.
I can cook and clean and do laundry as well as my mother, but let’s face it: there are some things that men are not able to handle. No, I’m not talking about childbirth, I am talking about corsages. Do not trust a man to order a corsage unless he’s given specific and exact instructions. We don’t know what you are wearing or what goes with it, nor do we particularly care. Yet if we call the florist to order a corsage -like I did for Easter today- the conversation goes like this:
Florist: What color flower would you like? Me: I don’t know. Florist: Well…what is she wearing? Me: I have no idea. What goes with everything? Florist: White. Me: White is perfect. Florist: What color ribbon would you like with that? Me: It comes with a ribbon? Does that cost extra?
You get the idea. I ended up with a single white rose and a pale yellow ribbon. The ribbon, by the way, cost me nothing but goes with most everything. I will teach my sons that on Easter and Mother’s Day, flowers are nice but something that your wife can wear around all day long is even nicer.
