Tag Archives: pets

Pretty Good Friday

Posted on April 10, 2009 by Rob| 2 Comments

SHOPPING LIST
My fire department pager went off and the dispatcher transmitted that it was an alarm at Hannaford. As I was running out the door, Ann shouts to me, “Could you get me some of that granola I like while you’re there?”

NUMBER CRUNCHING
According to the CDC, more than 86,500 Americans visit emergency rooms every year due to falls caused by pets and pet related objects. Dogs are overwhelmingly the culprits, accounting for an average of 71,452 injuries —30% of those are caused by tripping or falling over the dog(s). On average, 27 of the incidents annually involve both a cat and a dog. Watch your step.

LOOSELY RELATED
A Nebraska woman was killed last week when a Taco Bell sign fell 75 feet and crushed the pickup truck she was sitting in. According to police, the woman and her husband were parked waiting for a Wyoming couple who were to purchase two of their dogs. From the North Platte Bulletin:

Officials said the couples agreed to meet in North Platte about 1 p.m., “right underneath the big Taco Bell sign.”

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Get My Goat

Posted on April 1, 2009 by Rob| 4 Comments

I love goats. Wait… what I mean is that I find them amusing and aesthetically pleasing, not that I literally love them. But yes, I am a goat lover. In my experience goats are sweet natured animals that are brimming with personality  —so when I unfolded the NY Times and saw this headline, I perked right up:

How I Learned to Love Goats

Above it was a big picture of a goat looking into the camera. Ha! Look at the goat. And above that was the name of the section: Dining.Whoa! That headline didn’t say Goats, it said Goat —and the story was all about appreciating the flavor of goats not their adorable behavior.

I was dumbfounded. How could someone kill and eat one of these lovely animals? That would be like eating a dog. But according to the article, more people worldwide eat goat than any other meat. And I must admit, as a dedicated carnivore some of the recipes do look intriguing. But no, I’m not going there.

There’s no explanation for why goats hold sway over me. Cows, sheep, chickens, pigs? No problem. Goats? Never.

I dream sometimes of a home with a little land where there are no neighbors breathing down my neck. It would be wonderful to sit outside in the morning and drink my coffee and greet the day with the goats.

(You can read the article here. The online version includes the word Meat in the headline.)

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CSI: Glenmont

Posted on March 27, 2009 by Rob| 1 Comment

3/27/09

On Thursday, March 26 Ann Madeo of (address redacted), Glenmont reported three incidents of suspected canine vandalism. It is believed that they occurred on or around March 25.

According to Mrs. Madeo a copy of of William Patrick’s Saving Troy was discovered in the master bedroom with its cover ripped off, a 2.6 cubic foot hole was found dug in the backyard, and the molding surrounding the downstairs hall closet door was damaged.

Teeth marks were apparent on both the book and molding. Close examination of the hole clearly showed marks in the dirt consistent with the size and shape of a dog’s paw.

Two Australian Shepherds residing in the home were interviewed separately. Both were cooperative while questioned, but neither admitted any knowledge of the incidents. It was observed that the dog known as Scarlett had flecks of dirt on the area around her nose.

The initial results of the investigation were inconclusive. DNA analysis is an option, but may be prohibitively expensive when weighed against the cost of repair and replacement.

Because it is possible that some of the damaged material was ingested, it was recommended that Mrs. Madeo collect the fecal matter of the dogs. It may be possible to recover undigested content related to the damage, and while this does not constitute absolute proof, it could be considered a strong indication of involvement.

It was further suggested that if there are repeated incidents of this nature, video surveillance be employed to provide a record of of events when the human occupants are away from the household.

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Dog Devours Book From Cover to Cover

Posted on January 3, 2009 by Rob| 1 Comment

Australian Shepherd Maddy has been attacking my copy of Richard Russo’s Bridge of Sighs. First she ripped off the back cover and gnawed a corner of the book, lending a whole new meaning to the term dog eared. Then she tore off the front cover and pulled out page 71 —which thankfully I’d already read.

She is not destructive by nature. The most mischief she gets into is carrying off socks that are left on the floor, presumably to go somewhere suck the footy goodness out of them. But there’s something about books she finds intolerable. Or is it just this book? Could it be the picture of Russo on the cover? Or maybe the part where a dog is shot in the ass with a pellet gun. It could be she’s peeved that I’d rather sit and read than give her my undivided attention. The book is a rival.

Or maybe she is just a dog. 

There’s big money these days in treating dogs like mystical and deeply complex creatures. Marley & Me is the number one movie and The Dog Whisperer is on cable every night it, so it’s easy to start ascribing human traits to our canine friends. On the other side of the fence is Jon Katz, who’s made a business of telling us that dogs are actually just being dogs and we are the ones who are messed up. 

I’m surprised she didn’t rip the cover off of one of his books.

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And Speaking of Dogs

Posted on December 17, 2008 by Rob| 1 Comment

I swore I wouldn’t write about the dogs all the time, but I can’t pass on this.

There was a story this week about a study showing that dogs experience the feeling of being cheated if they’re dealt with unfairly. The long and short of it is that two dogs are offered treats to do a trick. At some point, one dog starts getting better treats to do the tricks and the other dog gets resentful and stops performing. Who wouldn’t?

This got me wondering about what dogs really think. During the ice storm, Scarlett and Maddy spent time away from home where they’d be warm. Ann says they missed us, but who can say? I’m convinced that after 12 hours, the dogs are like, “Hey, remember those people? You know, the lady who used to walk us…and that guy?

“What guy?”

“You know, the one with the tennis ball?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, right…whatever happened to them?”

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Two Dog Night

Posted on December 14, 2008 by Rob| 4 Comments

Friday morning I was feeling smug about being one of the people with electricity —but by 11am our household joined the nearly 200,000 in the region plunged into darkness by the ice storm.

Ann and Zack fled to a friend’s house, but I decided to huddle in the darkness and ride out the disaster. There I was with my glow sticks and headlamp, curled up with the dogs. At 1am I couldn’t sleep, so I texted Alex. I’ve written before about how long it takes me to compose a text message, so at about 1:15 he got this:

no electricity at home just me scarlett and maddy

Naturally, he was awake —probably out having fun.

haha why isnt there power

Hmmm. Somebody hasn’t been reading the paper.

ice storm widespread chaos will eat dogs eventually

The dogs stirred uneasily. He wrote back:

lol well cats before dogs

Good point. I fell back to sleep wondering about in which order I’d eat the pets. Let’s hope the power comes back on before push comes to shove.

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Where My Bitches At?

Posted on November 7, 2008 by Rob| 4 Comments

Oh, wait…they’re right here. Nevermind.

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Mouth of The Dog

Posted on March 24, 2008 by Rob| Leave a comment
I want to kiss you...

We’ve all heard that dog’s mouths are cleaner than ours, and that dog saliva has magic healing properties. Let’s hope so. Our Australian Shepherd, Scarlett, has a built in homing system that aims her snout directly at mine, and like a heat seeking missile her tongue targets my mouth. If I don’t pay attention, she finds it. Occasionally, paying attention is no defense since she’ll creep up when I’m sleeping and begin licking me full on the mouth. I suppose I should feel flattered by her interest in thrusting her tongue into my gob, but she is a dog and I am a human, and ours is a love that no one would ever understand.

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