The Old Ball Game

This is probably the best spot for a single sporting event I’ve ever seen.

Connecting the dots between  Harry Caray singing “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” with the NHL’s Winter Classic at Wrigley Field is just genius. We’re not worthy!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGK5zGQba6k]

Wes Welker Is Awesome

I’m hardly a big New England Patriots fan, but you’ve gotta love Wes Welker. 

The 5’9″  wide receiver went undrafted in 2004, made the Chargers but was cut, and finally got a slot playing special teams on the Dolphins. Since joining the Pats in 2007 he has excelled as one of the league’s hardest working, most consistent players. Regular guys can look at Wes Welker and see someone who’s living the dream. They all said he didn’t have the size or the talent, but personally, I’ll give you three Terrell Ownens for one Wes Welker.

Sunday Welker was slammed with an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty in the Patriots game against the Cardinals. Why? After scoring a touchdown he laid down in the end zone an made a snow angel. How seasonal.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU8aCzzF1Ns]

A Plea For Sanity

I have seen terrible things.

Horrible scenes of carnage and mayhem. Broken bodies scattered on the landscape. Wonderful joyous days instantly transformed into nightmares of pain and grief. Who can make sense of it? It’s never easy when the victims are so young and fragile. We look on and shake our heads and wonder, why did this have to happen?

I am writing about the Bethlehem Town Park sledding hill.

For some reason, the children of my proud community have never been taught rule one of sledding: walk up the side, not the middle.

Not that this isn’t entertaining to watch. Being struck by a sled tends to produce spectacular head-over-keister tumbles worthy of an NFL Films Moment of Impact DVD. Imagine Brandon Jacobs slamming into your six-year-old. But if it’s your kid it’s not so entertaining. And if your child caused the damage, suddenly you’re not thinking, “Wow!” You’re thinking, “Lawsuit.”

One time I saw two kids walking side by side up the middle of the hill carrying a toboggan. Suddenly, a young child headed right for them. His parents started shouting out: “Duck! Duck!” He looked around, maybe trying to see the duck they were yelling about, and turned his head back just in time to catch the toboggan square in the forehead. I have supplied this diagram to help you better understand the incident.

I implore parents everywher -especially now during this holiday season- to take your children by the hand and tell them this: walk up the side of the hill. Not the middle.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I cross posted this on the Times Union’s Bethlehem Blog. Click to read the idiotic comment somebody left.

Out Foxed

I’m not much of a runner, but I still manage to get out there. I do it in all weather all year round —but I will never, ever again think that I’m hardcore -even for a second- after reading this story:

Arizona: Jogger Attacked by Rabid Fox
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
A jogger was attacked by a rabid fox, ran a mile with the animal’s jaws clamped on her arm and then drove herself to a hospital, the authorities said. The Yavapai County sheriff’s office said the woman told deputies that she was on a trail near Prescott on Monday when the fox attacked and bit her foot. The woman said that she grabbed the fox by the neck when it went for her leg but that it bit her arm. The woman wanted the animal tested for rabies so she ran a mile to her car with the fox still biting her arm, then pried the animal off and tossed it in her trunk and drove to the Prescott hospital. The sheriff’s office said the fox later bit an animal-control officer. He and the woman are both receiving rabies vaccinations.

By the way: runners get all bent out of shape when you call them “joggers” —especially if they have a fox hanging off their arm.

The Eternal Goat

Bill Buckner

As a lifelong Met fan, I take great pleasure in invoking the name Bill Buckner in front of the many obnoxious denizens of Red Sox Nation —but what Rep. John Yarmuth (D-Ky.) did yesterday was unconscionable.

At a congressional hearing on the credit crisis, Yarmuth compared the performance of former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, one time Treasury Secretary John Snow and  SEC Chairman Christopher Cox to Bill Buckner’s famous error in the 1986 World Series.

“I feel like I’m looking at three Bill Buckners here,” said Yarmuth. “The ball went through your legs.”

Ouch! It’s one thing to razz a Red Sox fan about Buckner, but bring his name up on the floor of congress? To describe the biggest financial disaster in recent history? That’s just plain cold.

Let this be a lesson: screw up bad enough and you’ll still hear about it 22 years later. And coincidentally, 22 years is how long it will take for my 401K to recover.

Squirrelly

Some people find squirrels absolutely repellent. Not me.

Yes, they do have a certain rat-like quality, but look how interesting and amusing they are! Like the time at work when we forgot to close the window. Squirrels got in the office and ran all over, leaving tiny footprints on the desks. Then they collected some M&Ms from down the hall and hid them everywhere. I’m still finding them. Anyhow, I’m not sure how you mark this on the scorecard, but see how this stray squirrel became the star of a recent game between the Chicago White Sox and Cleveland Indians.

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And The Horse You Rode In On

I stopped touting three-year-old colt Madeo after he lost a couple of times —and after several people following my advice lost money. I knew he was running on Sunday, but decided I’d be better off throwing away $20 at The Great Escape than throwing it away at OTB. Was I ever wrong.

Running in the $350,000 Del Mar Derby, Madeo came from behind to beat 9-10 favorite Gio Ponti by half a length. He paid $23.60 on a $2 bet. Damn!

And why call a horse Madeo? He’s named for a popular Italian restaurant in West Hollywood —the sort of place where the paparazzi hang around outside to get pictures of celebrities. From one patron’s Yelp review: “My girlfriend took me here for my birthday and we saw Chris Martin, Gwenyth Paltrow, Orlando Bloom at one table and at another table was Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson.” If you go, just remember: it’s not cool to stare.

Olympic Free Zone

When you don’t watch much TV to begin with, being without one for a week is no big deal —except during the Olympics. Like a lot of people, when it comes to the Olympics, I’ll pretty much watch anything that NBC puts in front of me. Women’s doubles badminton semifinals? Bring ’em on. Individual 70m archery preliminaries? I’m there. But this week on vacation I’ve seen nothing.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping up with the action in the newspaper. I must say, the US Gold in the men’s swimming 4×100 relay sounded so exciting in the New York Times that I jumped right out of my beach chair and cheered.

I know what you’re saying: Excuse me, Rob, but if you have the internet why don’t you just watch online? I’ll tell you why, smarty pants, because the WiFi connection I’m borrowing from the neighbor is awful. Really, it’s sketchy to the point of being primitive. Jeez! What’s wrong with those people?

I think back in the office next week I’ll need some serious closed door time to catch up on my email and return phone calls. Especially on Monday morning, when the US men take on Japan in volleyball and the table tennis gold medal match is on USA Network…

Weekly Wrap

Black EnterpriseMYSTERIOUS MAIL I get lots of weird mail at work, some of it addressed to me as the company “President”, but I’m really curious how I got on the mailing list for Black Enterprise magazine. Not complaining here —especially not with articles like this about my main man, Barack Obama, but it just seems a little odd. I didn’t think I was in the target demo, but maybe I was made some sort of honorary black entrepreneur. Perhaps I’ll get invited to go hang out with Russell Simmons or something.

ABOUT DOGS At dinner recently we got on the subject of dogs and strokes. Zack asked, “If a dog has a stroke does it end up with slurred bark?” Good question.

ALSO ABOUT DOGS We can’t name many of our neighbors or any of the children running around, but we know the names of all the dogs: Penny, Fenway, Shelby, Fanny, Max, Skipper (Skip for short), Hank, and Fenway. Yes, there are two dogs named Fenway. Boston fans. I’m naming my next dog Bill Buckner.