November sweeps is a big deal in TV because that’s when your audience gets measured. During these Nielsen Ratings periods, local TV rolls out “special reports” to bring more eyeballs to their newscasts. Most TV stations are content to do stories about things like internet predators, violent video games, or the hot topic du jour, internet predators who prey on kids playing violent video games —but KTLA in Los Angeles has raised the bar. Or lowered it. They’ve pulled out all the stops this month with a story they call Done Up Down There, a report on shaping and coloring your pubic hair. And you thought tasering news anchors was bad.
When you don’t watch much TV to begin with, being without one for a week is no big deal —except during the Olympics. Like a lot of people, when it comes to the Olympics, I’ll pretty much watch anything that NBC puts in front of me. Women’s doubles badminton semifinals? Bring ‘em on. Individual 70m archery preliminaries? I’m there. But this week on vacation I’ve seen nothing.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping up with the action in the newspaper. I must say, the US Gold in the men’s swimming 4×100 relay sounded so exciting in the New York Times that I jumped right out of my beach chair and cheered.
I know what you’re saying: Excuse me, Rob, but if you have the internet why don’t you just watch online? I’ll tell you why, smarty pants, because the WiFi connection I’m borrowing from the neighbor is awful. Really, it’s sketchy to the point of being primitive. Jeez! What’s wrong with those people?
I think back in the office next week I’ll need some serious closed door time to catch up on my email and return phone calls. Especially on Monday morning, when the US men take on Japan in volleyball and the table tennis gold medal match is on USA Network…
Some of the worst advertising in America is for television news.
Generally speaking, it’s overblown, bombastic, ridden with overwrought clichés, and as subtle as an anvil dropped on your head. Someone must have gotten the idea that yelling at your audience is effective, because that approach has spread across America —and go from city to city and you’ll see that all the news promos look alike. I’ll admit that I’ve occasionally been part of the problem, but I’ve tried during my career in broadcast marketing and promotion to do work that was not…well…stupid.
Naturally, news promos have always been a ripe target for parody —and here’s the best one I’ve ever seen, from The Daily Show:
“Wow…those foolish earthlings listen to awful music!”
That’s what I’m afraid people in other worlds will think if TV transmissions of “American Idol” ever reach them. I hope they don’t decide to wipe us out on grounds of poor taste, because based on the popularity of people like Taylor Hicks and David Cook, who could blame them?
Well, my alien friends, please be advised that Earth is not devoid of decent music. In fact it’s on every street corner, like on Friday at Troy Night Out. Zack and I stumbled across a quintet of musicians on a sidewalk near State and 2nd. The Rustys were clearly having a good time out there, entertaining a crowd of twenty with a tasty blend of rootsy Americana. But the thing that really got me was the joy they brought to their performance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a band having so much fun, and I’m sure it wasn’t just the beers they had hidden around the front stoop. These folks love making music. We walked off after they closed the set with “Wildwood Flower”, and Zack said, “That’s the kind of band I want to have.”
If some far off aliens are sitting in quiet judgment of the earth, maybe they’ll look beyond the middle of the road to the great music people are making on sidewalks like the one in Troy. See a little sideshow after the jump… (more…)
I spent an hour at work yesterday watching YouTube videos of kids blowing things up. It was great! And no, I was not goofing off, I was doing research! It reminded me of when I was a wee lad, burning and exploding things with my friends. We’d build model airplanes and blow them up. We’d build model cars and set them on fire. We’d build model airplanes and cars with firecrackers inside them so they’d blow up when we burned them.
Estes rocket engines were attached to anything and everything. There were rocket cars and rocket boats and once a rocket Frisbee, which was swell until it caught fire. And we didn’t bother with the Estes electronic ignition system, instead we jammed fuses into the end of the rockets and lit them with a match. It’s a miracle I’m not called lefty today.
The strangest thing I remember doing was lighting small fires with my friends and putting them out by urinating on them. A shrink would have a field day with that, don’t you think?
All you hear now is people complaining about the dumb things kids do and post on YouTube, but you know what? The only difference between now and 35 years ago is video cameras and the internet —and a society that seems bent on taking the boy out of boyhood.
I’ve seen some breathtakingly dumb things done in the name of local TV news, but I think maybe WGNO of New Orleans takes the cake. They’re inviting viewers to spin the “Wheel of Justice” and help them catch criminals. The promo says:
OK, it’s like this: We have this wheel. It has pictures of bad guys on it. Real dirt bags. We spin the wheel. When it stops on one of these dirt bags we go after them until we catch them. One more time: You. The wheel. Spin. Catch the creeps. Then it’s bye-bye dirt bag, goodbye. Got it? Etc…
I could be wrong. Maybe trivializing murder and mayhem as a ratings stunt is responsible journalism. I never went to j-school.
WGNO is uses the now popular “Getting Answers” slogan as their branding statement. Here’s a question they should answer: Are your news director and general manager idiots? Watch the spot for yourself. Until the anchor walks in it’s not so bad —except for the vile premise.
It’s National TV-Turnoff Week, which I once wrote should be called National Get Off Your Fat Ass And Do Something Week. Now that I’m older and wiser, I realize that was a little harsh. A little harsh but maybe a little true.
Moderation, my friends, is the key to happiness. Turning off the TV for an entire week will inevitably lead to TV binging, and binging of any kind is always bad. Here’s what to do: watch less TV for a few days. Drop some things that you don’t really care about. Don’t deprive yourself of what you love, but cut out what you don’t need. And by the way, those of us who work in TV would appreciate it if you get this out of your system by Thursday, because Thursday is the first day of May Sweeps. Actually, maybe Thursday would be a good day to watch a little more local news. With your whole family. Especially if you have a ratings diary. Then go out for a walk.
There will be folks who try to tell you Katie Couric didn’t make it anchoring CBS Evening News because she’s a woman. With all due respect, that’s not the reason: it’s because she stinks. There are half a dozen women on cable and network news who would have been better in that anchor seat on day one —and by now they’d be stars. From the outset, Couric’s been wooden and uncomfortable. Her show moves with the painful gait of someone wearing shoes three sizes too small. And squeezing into that role has been her undoing.
When WNYT producer Sheila Conolly needed an irate middle-aged man for a news promo, she knew exactly where to find one. I’ve been in lots of spots, but for some reason, everyone and their brother saw this one. Now -everywhere I go- people are wagging their finger at me, saying “Don’t talk back!” I stopped running it on the air so much after a barista at Starbucks recognized me. Now I keep the shades on when I’m jonesing for a non-fat latte, what with my newfound fame and all. Even after all this time, I forget that the TV is a powerful and potentially dangerous tool. Watch it here: (more…)
