The Irish Sports Page

In our house we’ve fallen into the morning ritual of scanning the obits. As people always have we look for folks we know personally or their families —or try to connect the dots where six feet under meet six degrees of separation. But there’s also something else:  we search for people close to our own age. 

“Look…this woman was only 45.”

“Cancer?”

“Cancer. And they’re having her wake at New Comer-Cannon. Whatever you do don’t take me to New Comer-Cannon.” 

My wife, Ann, views New Comer-Cannon as the McDonald’s of funeral homes. Me? I couldn’t care if you take me to the animal shelter and have me cremated. According to their website they’ll do items up to 200 pounds for just for $150. That sounds like a good deal to me.

The main thing we want to see is what killed these middle age people. Some obits come right and say how they died while others make you look and see if the family’s requested contributions to fight cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and the like. I’m thinking of asking in my obit that in lieu of flowers donations be made to the Sophie Cameron Trust. That will really make people wonder. “Suddenly” can be a frustrating word to find in obituaries because could it just as well be a heart attack or brain embolism as a car accident. 

Anyway, I’d like to recommend that you take some time this week to write your own obituary. You never know when you’re going to go and it will be one less thing for your family to deal with when you do. You can’t control what kills you, but for once you can control what gets printed in the paper.

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