There’s no big hurry in my house to take down the Christmas tree. Many people believe it should be gone before the Feast of the Epiphany, which is January 6, but we’ve never met that deadline.
My routine is to lop off the branches and reduce the tree to a prickly stalk; it’s a lot easier than dragging it through the house intact.
My cut up tree would be of no use in the Irish Christmas Tree Throwing Championship, where contestants compete to see who can toss a five foot tree the farthest.
Rules are scarce. It’s hard to find information on how heavy should the tree be or whether a running start is allowed. There are also regional variations in these sorts of contests, some of which in Germany and England judge how high you can throw the tree over a bar.
This year’s winner — and defending champion — was John O’Dea of Limerick. The distance of the winning throw is unavailable, but he’s tied for the Irish record of 10.2 meters, or about 33 feet. German Klaus Pubnaz, holds the world record of 12 meters.
This contest is something we need here. Why just throw out a tree when you can literally throw one out? Come on, America. We can do this.