The Ups and Downs of Elevator Etiquette

Elevator etiquette is more art than science, but there are some things that are non-negotiable. For example, a gentlemen should always allow women and old folks to enter and exit first — and nobody should rush into the elevator until people are done getting off.

There are loads of elevator rules — and at ElevatorRules.com you’ll find a very good list of them — as well as a lively discussion of the finer points.

But here’s the thing: in my building lately I’ve noticed an extremely annoying behavior which, oddly, is perpetrated by people being unnecessarily polite. There have been numerous incidents of other men allowing me to enter the elevator before them. That’s not only uncomfortable, but I believe it’s a violation of the Man Code.

Look, when two men are waiting for the elevator, the one closest to the door enters first. Unless I’m a woman, elderly, or an elderly woman don’t stand aside and let me go before you. It’s simply not cool. Don’t do it. Ever.

The only time you may allow me to go first is if you’re doing so jokingly in faux deference — or maybe if I’m the UPS guy and I have a sh*tload of packages. In that case I need the elevator more than you do, so get the hell out oif my way, would you please?

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