Urine Luck!

"What's this sitting in my spot? It smells like... OH MY GOD!"

Wondering what was in that big orange jug I had with me on Wednesday? It was urine.

My doctor wanted to run a test on me that involves collecting your urine for 24 hours. They give you a container to use and when you’re done, you drop it off at a lab for analysis. “What if I fill up the jug?” He said he’s never heard of anyone filling up the jug.

It was a little tricky. Because the jug contains hydrochloric acid, you can’t pee in there directly. If you think getting buring hot pepper oil on your tender bits is bad, try splashing on a little hydrochloric acid.  I read on the internet that the acid preserves the urine’s uriny goodness.

The doctor suggested that the weekend might be a good time to collect urine, but I couldn’t really see bringing this on a road trip. That meant doing it at work, which was was a little complicated. Fortunately, I managed to get through an entire day without anyone realizing that I was carrying around a jug of urine. Ha!

By the end of the day, I felt a bit like Howard Hughes, who is reputed to have stored his urine in jars for safe keeping. The total volume was 2.5 liters, in case you’re interested.

So, some of you are asking, “Rob, why are you telling us this?!”  Why? Because I don’t want you to be surprised when you get old and have to start taking crazy tests and having odd procedures, things that may feel embarrassing and undignified, but are really important. There are worse things you could be carrying around than urine.

18 responses to “Urine Luck!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *