The War on Christmas Signs

It’s scandalous that Bethlehem refuses to allow signs in the town square that wish folks a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! I’m never one to take these things sitting down — unless it’s to sit down and pound out an angry screed to our town supervisor, John Clarkson.

Dear Mr. Clarkson,

It’s good to see that you embrace the spirit of Christmas, but most unfortunate that it’s the spirit of Ebenezer Scrooge you embody, shouting out a hardy, “Bah, Humbug,” in the face of Bethlehem residents.

I’m writing, of course, about your decision to ban the Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah signs from the Four Corners.

Yes, there is a Christmas tree, and yes, a menorah — perhaps the world’s largest menorah, actually — but how are we to truly experience the joy of these holidays without printed signs that wish us well?

Indeed, I felt great emptiness as I drove through the intersection on Monday and did not see a sign wishing me a Merry Christmas. Who is it that ruined Christmas for our town, I asked? I was not surprised to learn that it was you, the very same John Clarkson who this fall did not make sure our leaves were collected in a timely manner!

When I saw a photo of the sign that offends you in the Times Union, it only made matters worse. Here is the picture:

sign

How fiendish to deprive our citizens, especially our little children, the experience of seeing this wonderful sign that warms the heart and exemplifies the true meaning of Christmas. It’s shameful, that’s what it is!

What’s next? A ban on residents decorating their homes? A prohibition on displays that you find distasteful? Maybe you’ll outlaw inflatable Santas and only allow us to hang those sterile looking white lights, the ones that are so popular in socialist countries, like Denmark and Canada.

Let me tell you this , Mr. Clarkson: when it comes to your war on Christmas, you can expect voters like me to have our boots on the ground next election day.

I suppose that like Scrooge, you will keep Christmas in your own way and we will keep it in ours, but it’s my sincere hope that on the morning of December 25 you wake up and see the light shining through your window. Then you will dash to the Four Corners and  hang those signs where everyone can see them. Only then will Christmas in Bethlehem be saved. And yes, Hanukkah, too.

Sincerely,

An Anonymous Voter

7 responses to “The War on Christmas Signs

  1. Brilliant! And of course, Merry Christmas!

  2. When I read the original story, my first thought was “lawyers without (Christmas) balls”. Then I thought, hey, this could become a Grinch teachable moment.
    Merry Christmas, Rob.

  3. I only wish you could have posted this in the Times Union’s Bethlehem Blog, where all the village idiots could read it and think you’re serious.

    Whatever happened to your posts there, anyway?

    • Those posts were deleted by the overseer of the blog slaves at the TU’s free content plantation. Too bad. I would have liked to save the post about Bethlehem Soccer Club’s German looking logo. Those soccer people? No sense of humor.

    • the Times Union has a blog?

      Merry Christmas Rob – hope 2016 is a healthy, happy, and safe year for your family

  4. I woke up this morning worried that I hadn’t been sufficiently sarcastic in this blog post.

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