If It’s Yellow

You’ve heard the old saw about water conservation: If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.

You wouldn’t think this requires any further explanation, but as usual, the devil’s in the details.

Yes, if it’s brown flush it down. Always. And if it’s yellow? Sure, go ahead and let it mellow — but only if you are at home. In a public restroom, you should not let it mellow. Never.

The gentlemen who use the urinal on my floor have decided that if it’s yellow, they will let it mellow. This means that when you step up to the plate to do your business at the urinal, you’ll be peeing into a pool of dirt water. To avoid being splashed by urine of unknown origin, I flush first.

If that makes me sound crazy, so be it. You probably also think it’s crazy to flush the urinal with your elbow. The long and short of this is do whatever you want in your home, but when in town, flush it down, OK?

17 thoughts on “If It’s Yellow

    1. If I’m not mistaken, it contained the song Burnin’ for You. There’s a urination joke lurking in there somewhere…

  1. I’m assuming you work in a nice office building full of people wear suits and have fancy phones and stuff. That said, let me ask a question: What sort of animals don’t flush the toilet?

    1. Jeez, Dog — that’s a little rough, don’t you think?

      Animals, having hooves and paws, can’t really be expected to flush the toilet.

  2. Wag, I’ll tell you what sort of animals who don’t flush the toilet, animals who never learned any f-ing manners. That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read. You should sit in the stall and wait for somebody to take a piss and not flush so you can figure out whse doing that and then confront them.Or go piss on their desk and ask how they like it.

    1. EDD: That’s a great suggestion, urinating on the culprit’s desk. I appreciate your willingness to take this to the next level, but I’m pretty sure doing so would draw human resources into the mix, something that should always be avoided.

  3. You may all joke about it, but this behavior could indicate the onset of an obsessive compulsive disorder. While it’s a far cry from saving ones urine in jars, as Howard Hughes is reputed to have done, the reluctance or inability to dispose of urine ond feces is a well documented symptom of mental illness.

  4. It looks as though the culprit knows the value of taking at least one or more B vitamins. Perhaps you could start a “healthy” conversation with the men on the floor about supplements and then flush out the culprit.

    1. My son told me about how in basic training they’d get yelled at for not drinking enough water, based on either the color — or odor — of their urine.

      The funny thing is that it wouldn’t take much to shine a light on the guilty party. There are only about seven men on the entire floor.

  5. See how the observation of bodily secretions/excretions really is important?

    By the way, take any pix of donkey poop over on the Auld Sod?

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