Christmas Unwrapped

One of the most delightful Christmas traditions is criticizing the Christmas traditions of other people.

Whether it be how the lights are hung outside or present opening protocol (midnight v. morning), we’re all pretty sure that we are right and everyone else is wrong.

For example, here is an actual conversation I overheard recently in a house much like my own:

Did you know that (name ommitted) doesn’t wrap her kids’ Christmas presents?

So who wraps them, then?

Nobody. They go under the tree unwrapped.

Unwrapped? You mean the kids come down on Christmas morning and their presents aren’t wrapped?

That’s right.

That’s messed up. Why don’t they wrap the presents.

Her parents did it that way.

And why didn’t her parents wrap the presents?

I don’t know.

You know what kind of people don’t wrap their presents?

(Number one son chimes in from other room) Communists!

I think communists discourage religion.

(Number one son) Yes, they discourage it by not wrapping their presents.

10 thoughts on “Christmas Unwrapped

  1. What was that you said about owners of artificial trees in your “Christmas By The Pound” post? “But if you think $1.12 per pound is too much, maybe you would be happier with an artificial tree that you can use over and over. No fuss, no mess, and — as I’m sure our anscestors might suggest — no soul.”

    As a owner of two artifical trees, should I take that as a criticism or fact?

    1. Just guessing, but I don’t think the pagans who dressed things up with evergreen boughs or those who worshipped trees would be down with a plastic. They believed these things had special power.

      But as for my own opinion — which should not be confused with fact — I hate artificial trees. People should do what’s right for them, but I do think artificial trees lack the soul of something that was grown of and will return to the earth. I don’t care what other people do, but it’s not for me.

  2. As someone who is in an interfaith marriage, I never really decorated Christmas trees before. Well, that’s not entirely true; in second grade, my friend’s father, who was the assistant carpenter at Radio City Music Hall, took me backstage and allowed me free reign (as opposed to free reindeers).

    Of course, decorating the Christmas tree is a big deal for me nowadays. So is sprinkling reindeer chow with our daughter on our lawn on Christmas Eve. And just yesterday, we started a new tradition in our household, courtesy of my brother-in-law: my little girl has her very own Elf on a Shelf to monitor her actions and report back to Santa whether she’s been naughty or nice.

    Traditions and family. That’s what the holiday season is all about, isn’t it?

    1. I love it: Elf on a Shelf. During Christmas, one must surrender their expectation of privacy if they wish to remain on the “nice” list.

  3. But how those pagans would have freaked had that plastic tree lit up! “BY THE POWER OF THOR!”

    Bet THAT would have been some party!

  4. WHAT? I am a communist because SANTA doesn’t wrap the gifts he leaves – don’t tell my parents, or their parents for that mattter – they are diehard republicans!!! I for one will continue to leave the SANTA gifts unwrapped – probably why I named my kids Nicholas and Alexandra!

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