He loves puppies and has eclectic taste in music. His sisters were his role models and his kids have become his best friends in many ways. His first heartbreak? At six, when Timothy the turtle died.
What is this â€” some middle aged guyâ€™s lame online dating profile? No, itâ€™s from the 20 Things You Donâ€™t Know about John Sweeney.
It doesnâ€™t mention the former congressmanâ€™s three divorces, the drunk driving arrests, the domestic strife, the ex-stripper, those frat party pics, that assault involving his kid, the ski trip thing â€” but hey, that’s stuff we already know.
I always read these 20 Things features that Kristi Gustafson Barlette writes, and I wasnâ€™t surprised when the Sweeney item left a few readers bent out of shape. One guy wrote, â€œIâ€™m looking forward to next weekâ€™s segment, â€™20 Things you donâ€™t know about me: Chris Porcoâ€™.â€ Kristi says her subjects are folks who are â€œinteresting and people know them â€” or know of them.â€ By that standard, a Chris Porco 20 Things is not off the table. And you know weâ€™d all read it.
So here comes John Sweeney again, reimagined as the cool, sensitive guy in recovery who â€œused to party with the band U2.â€
Mr. Sweeney, do us all a favor and go away. Go away and quietly pick up the mess youâ€™ve left in your wake. And Iâ€™ll tell you what: weâ€™ll say a prayer for your recovery, and another prayer that you donâ€™t fuck up again and damage the lives of more people around you. Best of luck, sir.
None of us are perfect. I may not have accomplished huge things in my life, but at least Iâ€™ve been a good husband and father. I’d like to think that’s enough.