I Hate Rudolph the Reindeer

It’s troublesome that people are choosing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer over The Grinch Who Stole Christmas in the Times Union’s Most Specialest Holiday Specials Face-Off Ever. Troublesome because I hate Rudolph.

Hear me out.

Yes, Rudolph is endearing — and many of you have a soft spot for it from when we were children — but behind the treacly stop motion sweetness is a story of bad parenting, sexual longing, and narcissism.

Could anyone possibly be more self absorbed than Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? Oh, my nose is red! Everybody hates me! Why can’t I have Clarice?

Rudolph is an irrepressible whiner. What does it teach kids? Complain. Feel sorry for yourself. Run away from trouble. Don’t even get me started on Hermey.

Sure, in the end Rudolph shines — but only after Santa comes and begs him for help.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, on the other hand, is a story of redemption. The Grinch is motivated by hatred — but ultimately discovers the true meaning of Christmas. It’s a beautifully written story, for Dr. Seuss really was a genius of human nature — not just some hack looking to turn a buck.

I’m sure many of you will disagree, but stop and consider the facts. And please cast your vote for The Grinch.

12 thoughts on “I Hate Rudolph the Reindeer

  1. I’m in complete agreement. Blogged about both over the past couple of weeks. The only redeeming things in Rudolph are The Bumble & Yukon Cornelius; alternately, there is nothing that isn’t wonderful and amazing about the Grinch. Well, the Whos are a little annoying, but the Grinch needs a foil, I suppose, in order for his heart to grow three sizes.

    1. Even Burl Ives the Snowman. And I like Burl Ives.

      I’m not sure anyone within 10 years of my age even knows who the hell Burl Ives is.

  2. Grinch is a timeless classic. Rudolph hasn’t aged well at all: I wonder what 6-year-olds weaned on Pixar think of it.

  3. Skinned and fully butchered, I’m guessing Rudolph would only yield 5 to 7 pounds of venison. Given his age, you’d really need good marinade. Not worth the work.

  4. Sexual longings? What, you think Charley in the Box wanted to do it with that little misfit doll?

    All kidding aside, though Rudolph hits you over the head with its life lesson (acceptance of those things or people we can’t understand), Grinch obviously has the more important holiday message of giving and receiving love unconditionally. Not to mention Thurl Ravenscroft’s iconic rendition of Albert Hague’s priceless song.

    I have a soft spot in my heart for Rudolph of only because of Romeo Muller’s hysterical (“Let’s be independent together”) script. It is part of our popular culture — for instance, you appreciate how much it is embedded in our psyche in Jon Favreau’s wonderfully sweet “Elf.”

    The plain truth is, these two shouldn’t have been duking it out in the same bracket.

  5. Doug – thanks for bring up ‘Elf’. “He’s an angry elf” will live forever as one of the best lines and scenes in a Christmas movie.

  6. When I think Rudolph, I think Gene Autry. Just did some research and found out that Rudy preceeded Gene’s song by 10 years. AND Gene wasn’t the first to sing it.

    DYN? — Robert L. May created Rudolph in 1939 as an assignment for Montgomery Ward. The retailer had been buying and giving away coloring books for Christmas every year and it was decided that creating their own book would save money.

  7. Pingback: The Grinch Report

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