The Manly Arts: Toilet Repair

Gentlemen: You really should be able to fix a toilet.

I’m not saying that calling a plumber to do this job makes you a weenie — no, I would never suggest that. But replacing the guts of your toilet is a simple thing that you can actually do yourself — and it will impress other people in your household.

Speaking of home repairs, nobody’s going to fault you for bringing in an electrician; electricity can kill you or burn your house down — but what’s the worst that can happen with plumbing? You get wet.

No need to get into specifics on how to do it here, that’s what the internet is for. Suffice to say all you really need is a pair of pliers and maybe a screwdriver– and the only pliers you should have are Channellocks. A couple of bottles of beer couldn’t hurt, either.

After an hour or so, you can transform your anemic toilet into a supersonic poop machine that whisks away waste in a ferocious whirlpool of fury. You may get up in the middle of the night and flush it, just to marvel at how awesome it is — and how talented you are for making it happen. But that would be a waste of water.

8 thoughts on “The Manly Arts: Toilet Repair

  1. There are very few home repairs (short of hardcore electrical stuff) that I will not consider doing on my own (if didn’t have a landlord who is legally obligated to do such things)

    Regardless of gender, there is a feeling of empowerment that goes along with doing it yourself…and I spend the money I’d pay someone else on shoes.

  2. If you think it’s exhilarating when you change the guts, wait until you experience the thrill of finally stopping that annoying little leak at the base… by replacing the wax ring! You know the leak I’m referring to…the one that your wife thinks is you missing all the time…

    1. Ha… yes. I fixed my own toilet on Monday, so I fished the valve out of the garbage and shot it against the newly fallen snow. The neighbors must have found that interesting…

  3. Best toilet in the Capitol Region, bar n0ne, is the one in the men’s bathroom at the Volunteer Fire Dept. on Vischer Ferry Road in Clifton Park….you wanna talk about suction, man is that baby ever built for speed!

    1. Interesting… I am now curious, being the son of a plumber, if that’s a commercial toilet (no tank) or a gravity toilet like we have in our homes.

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