Sharp Elbowed

I’ve been losing shirts and sweaters to elbow holes.

For some reason, my clothing has a tendency to wear out at the left elbow. Only the left elbow.

What gives? Do I have a propensity to lean on my left elbow at work . Unusually abrasive elbows? Moths, perhaps? Moths attracted to the scent of my left elbow?

The most likely cause of this problem is something commonly known as internet elbow. According to Urban Dictionary:

Term given to the holes found on the elbow of a sleeve of a non-computer mouse holding side of a shirt. Believed to be primarily caused by resting non-mouse elbow on arm rests or desks.

How modern. No matter, it’s cost me some of my favorite things to wear.

Being naturally handy, I tried once or twice to use duct tape to fix the sweaters. I applied it over the hole on the inside of the sleeve; this is an imperfect solution, and makes you look a little crazy, actually. More recently, I’ve looked into using elbow patches. These would suit the sweaters just fine, but may be weird on a dress shirt.

Until a solution is found, there are a growing number of shirts in my closet that may only be worn under a sweater. A sweater with no hole in the elbow.

8 thoughts on “Sharp Elbowed

    1. Maybe there’s an invention lurking in there that can make us rich. They all laughed at the guy who came up with the Snuggie. Who’s laughing now?

  1. You need to donate your damaged items to charity. Surely there’s an organization that helps people who only have a right arm.

  2. May I suggest a lacrosse elbow/forearm pad on the left arm? The hard plastic would be nice for fending off coworkers trying to steal your highly-valued pencils.

    1. One of my secret ambitions is to someday end up in an “Uncle Charley” type situation, where I can cook and clean for my grandkids. If that’s what it takes to stop them from putting me in a home, I’ll do it.

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