Rent-a-Cat

I’ve been trying to find a way to monetize the pets. Heaven knows we spend a lot of money on them, so it would be nice to see a little ROI for all our TLC.

Then I heard several people complain lately about finding mice in their homes and it dawned on me: Rent-a-Cat. I’m not the first person to suggest renting cats, but this is an idea whose time has come. Why call Catseye when you can have a real cat’s eye on the job?

We’ve go three cats in our house who are up to the work. I figure $100 a week is fair. If you want more than one cat at a time we can talk. Here’s what’s in stock:

Maggie: A large calico with a bad attitude. This cat will not merely catch the mice but shred them into little to pieces. It may be difficult to confirm her kills if you have dogs. In my experience dogs are more likely to eat dismembered mice than whole mice.

Maeve: She may not be quick and agile, but she makes up for this with stealth. Maeve is adept at sitting perfectly still for long periods of time waiting for mice to come to her. Maeve can be baited to make her more attractive to mice by rubbing cheese or peanut butter on her head. Rodents find these scents irresistible and will walk right into her clutches.

Mia: Born on the mean streets of Schenectady, Mia combines youth and speed with a killer instinct. Because of her small size she can fit into the places where mice hide and ferret them out. We advise keeping food off your kitchen counter and the garbage can tightly sealed when using Mia.

Local delivery and pickup is free, but shipping is available. Cats arrive at your home in a day or two packed in a padded, vented container. Ask about our rent to own option.

That’s Funny…

I don’t remember saying I’d like another cat roaming around the house but someone brought this kitten home over the weekend. What am I going to do say, “Bring it back”?

You can’t tell from this picture but she has no tail. Maybe that’s why she was free.