Imp of the Perverse

Guys do dumb stuff. We are genetically hard wired to do so, and you can read about it every day in your morning paper. Case in point, the Glenville police officer accused of firing a potato gun at work. Oh, yeah —it’s also alleged that he was lighting off entire cases of police-issued flares, which must have been awesome.
In case you’ve never heard of a potato gun, it’s described in the article as a “type of contraption that launches whole potatoes through PVC piping with the use of pressurized air.” Actually, some guns launch the potato by the combustion of a flammable vapor like propane or hair spray, but I’m getting off the point. The point is that you should add firing potato guns and lighting flares to the growing list of things not to do at work.

Flaming Corsage

I can cook and clean and do laundry as cheap nfl jerseys well as cheap jerseys my mother, but let’s face it: there are some things that men are not able to handle. No, I’m not talking about childbirth, I am talking about corsages. Do not trust a man to order a corsage unless he’s given specific and exact instructions. We don’t know what you are wearing or what goes with it, nor do we particularly care. Yet if Clothes we call the florist to order a corsage -like I did for Easter today- the conversation goes like this:

Florist: What color flower would you like?
Me: I don’t know.
Florist: Well…what is she wearing?
Me: I have no idea. What goes with everything?
Florist: White.
Me: White pour is perfect.
Florist: What color ribbon would you like with that?
Me: It comes with a ribbon? Does that cost extra?

You get the idea. I ended up with a single white rose and a pale yellow ribbon. The ribbon, by the way, cost me nothing but goes with most everything. I will teach my sons that on Easter and Mother’s wholesale jerseys Day, flowers are nice but something that your wife can wear around all day long is even nicer.