The Glenmont Cat Wrangler

The big news in town? The cat situation on Pineridge Place. It seems that neighborhood felines have taken a liking to the quiet cul-de-sac making it their favorite place to relieve themselves. The issue as been covered by both the Times Union and our local weekly paper, The Spotlight, who say the cats have “Turned the area into a giant litter box.”

One resident claims, “The whole street just stinks. You can’t even walk around the circle without the scent of cat urine and feces knocking you down.”

On top of that she claims that her toddler was going around the yard picking up cat poop. “I want my child to be able to play outside in the dirt, but she can’t because the outside is a litter box.”

That’s a pretty funny quote, isn’t it? Anyway, the bottom line is now these folks want a law that would prohibit residents from letting cats roam free.

I have a better idea. There’s a guy in town who calls himself the Delmar Dog Butler who makes his living cleaning up dog crap in your backyard. I’m thinking of becoming the Glenmont Cat Wrangler.

People say you can’t herd cats, but those people have never met my dogs. These two actually can herd cats and for a very reasonable fee I’d be willing to turn them loose on Pineridge Place. They will not merely run the cats off but encircle and move them away from your property.

That’s not all. Maddy, the black and white one, has quite an appetite for cat poop so she will not only herd cats but clean up your yard. Don’t be fooled by the sweet face —to her cat feces is like filet mignon.

Just remember not to let her kiss you on the mouth.

One thought on “The Glenmont Cat Wrangler

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *