The Poop on Winter Dog Walkers

Every December the lawns in my neighborhood are decorated with more than electric reindeer and blow-up Santas: they are sprinkled with dog poop. It seems when the snow flies many people stop picking up dog crap. I have several theories about this:

1. The dog is not actually pooping on a lawn, it’s pooping on the snow. Dog walkers think that this forms a protective barrier over a homeowners grass. It doesn’t.

2. They are leaving it to pick up later. Everyone knows that frozen dog poop is a lot easier to bag than warm, steaming, fresh dog poop —but let me tell you, it does keep your hands warm.

3. People do not wish to soil their gloves. If you get dog crap on your hand you can just clean it off. Smear it on your glove and that glove will never seem the same, no matter how many times you wash it.

Don’t try telling me that they can’t see the dog poop because it’s so dark in the morning. If anything it’s much, much easier to spot against the white backdrop of the snow. It jumps out at you on even the darkest nights. Yikes!

There’s one other possibility: people are leaving it because it’s dark and they figure we can’t see them. Here’s some news for you: I get up very early and I can see you. Unless you want me to come by with my two dogs, please pick it up.

22 thoughts on “The Poop on Winter Dog Walkers

  1. thats funny bro…….but actually there is another reasoning which I myself apply……the rain/snow/sleet/freezing/thawing will disintegrate the poop before spring….also the poop is hard to pick up against a crusty snow pack……but I only apply my philosophy on large park areas, not somebody’s personal yard

  2. I guess I’m one of the good folks out there..I do pick up after my dog, regardless of the weather conditions. I’ve seen some indoor/outdoor cats in the neighborhood lately…what about their owners? Oh, your dogs are adorable.

  3. Oh no, It’s ok for cats to poop outside on others lawns. (especially the neighbor’s 25 pound tabby) Cat poop does not count, just dog poop. Understand?

  4. I’ve found carrying a pocket flash light works wonders when attempting to find my dog’s feces deposits when it’s dark.
    Unfortunately it doesn’t always light up the areas containing the feces left by other dog owners so the potential for the joyous experience of tracking dog poop around throughout the rest of our walk continues to exist.
    It’s also a real treat to step in the snow covered dog feces left by people in parks. For that reason alone I pick up my dog’s despite the conditions and locations. I’m sure people who walk through after me, both with and without dogs, appreciate the feces removal.
    The health risk resulting from large concentrations of feces is another issue, and yes the potential is there for it to leach or runoff into the drinking water.

  5. Sketchy: You are good! Holding a dog and a flashlight while picking up hazardous materials is not easy. As for the snow covered feces, I bet we could cut a cross section of snow in my neighborhood this February and see layer after layer of snow and poop —like some sort of disgusting tiramisu.

  6. I can suggest using a head lamp to free your hands for the poop cleaning. Yes, they look a little silly, but they are so useful!

  7. I wish the whitetails in the backyard would clean up their ‘deer berries’. And stop emptying my bird feeders…

  8. I just have to share this… Many Christmas’ ago, our dog ate a whole box of my daughter’s “glo in the dark” crayons. Charley had a designated area in the backyard, which was regularly scooped by our sons. That Christmas brought a huge snow storm, and one of the boys “cheated” and didn’t walk Charlie all the way to the designated area.
    That evening as my husband was pulling the drapes he observed some rather strange colored objects resting on the snow. Uh huh, neon colored poop, illuminated by the patio lights, compliments of Charlie!

  9. I emailed Mike Huber for you – but just to be on the safe side I changed the name of your blog to “Dog Poop – Kids at Weddings? – Dogs In Restaurants”. That should cover you!

  10. My dog has been a little…ahem…’sick’ the last few days. We’re working on it, but it’s quite challenging to pick up his leavings in general when he’s ‘off,’ and during the winter it’s impossible to get it all. The dog does his little foot stamping routine and it always seems to land in the foot holes he’s made in the snow. I feel very guilty leaving the residue behind as I am forced to do.

  11. Why are you complaining only about this? How come you’re not complaining about people bringing their unruly children over to your lawn to poop on it?

  12. That’s pretty funny Rob. I’ll even tell you one more thing that my neighbor that has 3 dogs does. I said…”man that’s a lot of poop you must have to pickup…who does all the poop scooping” He said “well I don’t do it” I said “well how does your yard stay clean then” He told me there is a service that actually does it for him called “POOP 911”. LOL I was so busy laughing I couldn’t hardly stand it but apparently for all the dog lovers who hate picking up after their favorite four legged friend these guys fill that need. Their website is pretty funny if you want to look at it. . In the mean time please keep the funny articles coming. 🙂

  13. If you are the kind of home owner who recklessly applies pesticides that spill over onto the sidewalk and road, my dog poops on your lawn. If you don’t clear your sidewalk in the winter and I slip and slide in front of your property, my dog poops on your lawn.

  14. #19: Right on, Gus! I think all this garbage people put on their lawns should be banned.

    #18: If I ever lose my job, I’m totally going into the dog waste business. You know what they say: do what you love and the money will follow.

  15. The Times Union plastic sleeves for home delivery make terrific poop bags. I think “T.U.” every time my dog takes a dump.

  16. #21. Thanks for the holiday love. Hey, at least you buy the paper, so rock on.
    As for me, I recycle my TU bags for the newspaper delivery guy, and use the Hannaford plastic bags.
    And #19? Just because your neighbor ain’t green but his lawn is, doesn’t mean you should leave your dog’s discards there for everyone to admire. Bag that stuff. It’s nasty no matter what.
    Hey Rob. Merry Christmas! I’m thinking about trying your 500-Degree Roast Beef recipe on Friday. Your sweet potato casserole recipe rocked my Thanksgiving.

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