Charles O’Byrne, Governor David Paterson’s top guy, resigned last week after it was revealed he hadn’t been paying his taxes. During a press conference it was explained that O’Byrne suffered from “Late Filing Syndrome,” a little known psychological ailment that prevented him from fulfilling his civic duty. Naturally, this has been widely mocked on the internet. This is very unfair, because in truth there are many obscure conditions that perfectly normal people deal with every day. For example:

Put Off Raking the Leaves Syndrome
Symptoms: Leafy lawn. Neighbors stand in front of house and glare at you.

Forgot To Return Your DVD To Hollywood Video Syndrome
Symptoms: Onerous late charges. Spousal disdain.

Neglecting to Put The Garbage Out On Wednesday Night Syndrome
Symptoms: Foul odor in garage.

Didn’t Send Your Mother A Birthday Card Syndrome
Symptoms: Guilt.

Unwise Use of the Internet Syndrome
Symptoms: Embarrassment, possible loss of employment.

Right…so let’s cut Charles O’Byrne a break, shall we?

3 thoughts on “Twisted

  1. um.. how about “thinking you are anonymous while blogging” syndrome?

    I think we can guess the symptoms.

    good column this week

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