Worst Christmas Ever

Scarlett “I’m glad that lady isn’t my mother.”

Why’s that, I asked.

“Because she makes Christmas SUCK.”

Somehow I ended up watching Channel 13’s news with my kid and they had a story about doing Christmas for under $500.

“That lady” was local PR maven (and former TV news reporter) Kristina Krawchuk who they enlisted to whip up a frugal yet magical holiday. And what does $500 get you these days? A scrawny $15 Christmas tree, a ten pound turkey, and some gifts that were, well… sort of underwhelming. A ten pound turkey —where the heck did they find one so small?

“I think you’re missing the point,” I explained.

I went into the usual spiel about how Christmas isn’t about dozens of gifts and tables laden with food and presents for the dogs.

He cut right to the chase. “Oh, OK. So how would you like the gifts she bought for the ‘Dad’?”

In the story the hypothetical Dad receives a Bluetooth earpiece and -I’m not making this up- corduroy Crocs. Personally I think that Bluetooth earpieces make you look like a tool. Wear one with corduroy Croks and you might as well change your name to Black and Decker.

“I’d be happy. And grateful. And I’d pretend that I love them.”

He was unconvinced. Rightly so, because if I opened the box on Christmas morning and found a pair of Crocs I’d feel gypped. But just imagine the fun we’d have as we carefully rationed out the ten pound turkey.

12 thoughts on “Worst Christmas Ever

  1. I saw the piece and thought it was perhaps the biggest waste of news time since the endless tributes to pedophile Michael.

    I can’t begin to comprehend the producer who after viewing the piece, said, “This is great. Let’s do it”

  2. I don’t know if you really need a news story to tell you how to do this. However, they did speed up some of the footage and sped up footage is always funny.

    A different approach might be to add up what Christmas really costs —something way too many people don’t understand until January.

  3. I did not see the piece, but it sounds like they missed the point and could have done a much better job with it – your description did make me laugh – however, the general point of spending less is an admirable goal –

  4. Karen: you can watch the story by following the link in my post. Just be warned, it’s four minutes of your life that you can never get back.

  5. I saw this story the other night, and thought “what is she thinking?” I can’t imagine giving ANYONE Crocs. Plus, most of the items she got for the kids were things many kids get throughout the year. Now, I understand trying to cut back and it’s admirable to try and spend $500 on a family of four. But, come on, let’s do it with some inginuety and imagination–not that I have much of that, but SHE’S the reporter and is supposed to be providing an informational service for the public. The only thing informative from this piece, is you can’t do it on 500 bucks. OR, you’d be better off giving each family member $125 and hoping someone invites you to enjoy their decorations and food…..

  6. Hey Crocs and Bluetooth earpieces aren’t all that cheap….I could get my husband something he really wants for that kind of money! We don’t spend much more than $50 on gifts for each other anyway!

  7. Jenny: To be honest, I’d rather see the money spent on my kids —or to give nice tips to the papergirl and garbage man.

  8. Spending a lot of money on XMAS just beacause its’ what evryone does is foolish. I have never spent $500 on our family of FIVE. Everyone gets small well thought out gifts on Thanksgiving. HOwever we do love Blck Friday. You will find us at the mall sitting on benches with coffee and treats watching evryone else carrying on.

  9. Didn’t waste the 4 minutes, but IMO they could change the message and salvage it. Re-run it with the Linus soliloquy appended to the end.

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