It’s usually on Saturday when you get the dog guilt.
They come and stare at you with those eyes, giving you that deep, soulful look you’ve seldom seen before, except maybe from that girl you went out with in your freshman year of college. She looked at you that way sometimes, but her gaze was not nearly so intense or unwavering, and unlike the dogs, she was complicated. And the truth is that you can take care of what the dogs want, but with her, who knows? And in that way dogs are much better than college girlfriends.
But it doesn’t stop there.
You get home and instead of just serving up the dry food, you top each bowl with some scrambled eggs. Pure protein.
And then they sleep and you are satisfied that you’re a good person — at least until later in the day when they start staring at you again, and it dawns on you that there’s a word for people like you. And that word is “sucker.”