Paper Chase

I’ve spent the past several mornings out in the driveway looking for the newspaper. Since it’s still dark when I want to read the paper, this involves looking under the car with a flashlight.

Where the hell is it?

So, for several days I’ve gone in to complain to my wife; she’s the one who told me that she agreed to “try” the paper for ten weeks at a special price of $10. Then she finally told me the other half of the story: we are only getting the paper four days a week, Thursday through Sunday.

I guess I can stop looking.

The Times Union: also good for protecting your table from urine samples.

Now, on to the math. This works out to $.25 a copy, well above the $.25 per week price I’d be willing to pay for my local paper online. But think of what you get in return: paper. You can’t put an online subscription in the litter box, can you? Nor is it any use for swatting fruit flies. And you can’t make a hat out of the internet.Whenever there is no newspaper in the house, I end up saying, “Dammit! I wish I had a newspaper.” Not so much because I want to read it, but because I need some newspaper.

I believe when printed newspapers are dead and gone, someone will make money selling blank newsprint as a household commodity. What a business that will be. Same useful product, but without all the annoying overhead.

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