Squirrely Squirrels

Got a text message the other day: Your squirrel friend is at the window for you.

I can’t remember exactly when I started feeding the squirrels outside my office window. In the beginning it was chunks of bagels or donuts that I’d swipe from the kitchenette in the sales department —but soon I was buying nuts at the grocery store and tossing them out onto the roof. The squirrels would dart around searching for their treats and carry them off to God knows where.

Pretty soon instead of throwing stuff out the window I began leaving it on the windowsill. Before long this became a regular stop on the squirrel itinerary as they dropped in to see what was on the menu. Sunflower seeds, candy, crackers, pretzels, Oreo cookies —you name it. It was not unusual to look outside and have a squirrel looking back at you.

This was all very cute until we accidentally left a window open one Friday afternoon. Monday morning our desks were covered with tiny footprints —and down the hall someone’s stash of M & Ms had been ripped open. There was candy everywhere: in coffee mugs, on bookshelves, and in every dark corner of the office. We were still finding it three years later.

I texted back: Get him a bag of granola from vending machine. I’ll pay you back.