My Left Feet

When Dancing With The Stars comes on, I’m gone. I can’t stand to watch even five seconds of that show—especially not after what they did to Steve Guttenberg this week. Completely unfair. Anyway, I totally leave the room, except if Jason Taylor is on, because that’s more like watching football than dancing —and I DON’T WATCH DANCING. This is despite the fact that I am trained in ballroom dancing. I spent a lot of time with Ann at Lorraine Michaels taking lessons a few years ago. The first night there, the instructor came over and said we’d have to switch partners after each dance. Switch partners? “Yes,” she explained. “In a social situation, you’ll dance with other partners, so you need to get used to it.” Ann was watching to see what came out of my mouth. “Why would I dance with someone else?” It’s nice to know in a life full of saying the wrong things at the right time you can smack one out of the park now and then.