Have a Cuppa Tea

All over the world, if you order tea, it means hot tea. Except at f***ing Starbucks, it would seem.

I came back from Ireland on a bit of a tea kick. It’s especially satisfying in the afternoon instead of a cup of coffee– and easier on the stomach. Plus, there’s also something nice in the ritual of it, waiting for the tea to steep and so on. It requires a bit of patience.

Now at Starbucks, unlike in the rest of the universe, if you order tea, they want to know if you want iced tea. Yesterday, I couldn’t take it anymore:

Rob: I’d like a grande black tea, please.

Barista: Iced tea?

Rob: No.

Barista: Hot tea?

Rob: Yes, of course. Hot tea. You know, when someone asks for tea, it means hot tea. Unless they specifically ask for iced tea.

Barista: Well, some people say tea and mean iced tea.

Rob: Well, they’re wrong.

At this point, the barista turned around to fix may hot tea. And probably spit in it, too. So much for that patience thing.

8 thoughts on “Have a Cuppa Tea

  1. What, you didn’t immediately go Postal Twitter on them, calling out the location & bad service, and expect something free in return?

  2. I spent about 20 seconds the other day trying to remember wat SBUX-speak for ‘medium’ was. I think I was having a grande-mal seizure.

    1. Using their size designations makes me feel like an idiot, every single time — but saying “medium” will just lead to the same sort of conversation as my tea discussion:

      “You mean grande?”

  3. Where I’m from, the tea is always ice, (not “iced,” mind you, but “ice” . . . “ice tea”), and the only question worth asking is “sweet or unsweet?” If you order the latter, we know you are a communist sent to put fluoride in our water, and you’re typically detained for further questioning . . .

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