Important Advice For Men #48

Gentlemen: if you’re going to say or do something stupid it’s best not do so when there are knives within reach. For example:

ROGERSVILLE, TN – A Hawkins County woman was charged Monday with aggravated domestic assault after she allegedly stabbed her husband in the face during an altercation while making lunch. The alleged victim, Jeremy Trent, told Hilton that he was in a verbal dispute with his wife when he called her an ugly name. Kingsport Times-News

SCRANTON, PA – A city woman was arrested early Tuesday for allegedly threatening her ex-husband with a knife. Katherine Miraval, 25, of Depot Street was charged with aggravated assault, burglary and reckless endangerment. Ms. Miraval allegedly woke Mr. Palomares by entering his bedroom with a 12-inch kitchen knife, saying they would either rekindle their relationship or both die. Scranton Times Tribune

WATERTOWN, NY – Renee E. Gokey, 38, of 235 Central St., was charged by Watertown police Tuesday with second-degree menacing, third-degree criminal possession of a weapon, second-degree harassment, first-degree unlawful imprisonment and resisting arrest. Police alleged she punched her boyfriend, Robert C. Rennie, 38, in the back of the head, tackled him, pointed a large bowie knife and stated “I will kill you before you leave” during an incident in their

LAKE KATRINE, NY – A man was stabbed by his girlfriend Thursday morning but lied to investigators about who attacked him in an effort to protect the woman, according to the town police chief. The man, Adam Alo, 21, was stabbed with a steak knife in the upper chest and left arm and suffered non-life-threatening injuries, according to the town of Ulster Police Department. Alo’s girlfriend, Shaquan London, 20, of Leggs Mill Road, was arrested later in the day, charged with felony assault and sent to the Ulster County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail, police said. Kingston Daily Freeman

AUSTIN, MN – A 21-year-old Austin woman is accused of slashing a man in the back with a knife, biting him in the chest and smashing his vehicle’s windows with a baseball bat Saturday night. Juana Viviana Lopez, is charged with single felony counts of second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon and making terroristic threats, as well as a lesser count of fourth-degree property damage. The man told police Lopez was upset because he still was married to a woman in Mexico. In a police interview, the man said he was almost asleep when Lopez attacked him. As he tried to get away, Lopez allegedly kicked him in the groin and grabbed a kitchen knife, saying, “I’m going to kill you.” He ran outside but was chased by Lopez for a block, the complaint says. Austin Post-Bulletin

4 thoughts on “Important Advice For Men #48

  1. “I will kill you before you leave” creates a paradox. If he had only pointed that out to her, he might have quashed the argument. Logic always rules, doesn’t it?

  2. I think interpreting the statement, “I will kill you before you leave,” depends entirely on inflection and emphasis.

    If properly delivered it’s very clear that it means, “I would sooner see you dead than allow you to leave.”

    If she emphasized the wrong word it could be understood as, “Before you leave I’m going to kill you.”

    Either way, when she’s waving a knife in your direction might not be the best time to question her logic.

    Just for fun try saying that line out loud with a Slavic accent: “I Vill kill you before you leave!”

  3. BL that’s exactly what I was thinking at first, Ha! But then I understood what she meant. These women are beyond nutso.

  4. That does make it sound better. But, for some reason I keep wanting to add, “and Moose and squirrel will die” to the end. I think that would totally spoil the mood she was trying to set though.

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