Entries tagged as ‘fixing things’
October 13, 2008 · 1 Comment
You don’t see a lot of people out on the street in the early morning before sunrise, so I was a little surprised when I found Dave.
I was heading toward home during my morning run when I spotted him walking unsteadily on the side of the road. With his back to the traffic, weaving slightly, he was an accident waiting to happen. I stopped to ask if he was OK. He wasn’t. He said his name was Dave and he’d walked from Albany and didn’t know where he was or where he was going. I had him sit down on a retaining wall by the sidewalk.
I rang the doorbell of the nearest house. When the unlucky homeowner looked out, sleepy and rumpled, I apologized for waking him and explained the situation. We have to call 9-1-1, I said. Tell them we need EMS.
He went into dick mode and said, “No, I’m calling the cops.”
How about you just let me call, I asked. That’s when he pretty much slammed the door in my face. I went to stand on the sidewalk with my new friend Dave as the guy in the house peered at us through the window. He topped it off by conspicuously latching the door.
Anyway, the cops showed up and I went on my way. I’m pretty sure they took Dave to the hospital. What the hell.
I guess I don’t blame the guy in the house for being rattled, and in the unlikely event that he’s ever wandering around in the dark alone, lost and disoriented, I hope somebody stops to help him.
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: fixing things
The big question on vacation: what’s a family to do without 21st century entertainment? During our week on Wolfe Island, Ontario we did what people have done for ages: play with the mice.
The first mouse was running back and forth on top of the backsplash of the kitchen counter. Outrageous! Having violated the sanctity of our vacation, this filthy rodent would have to pay. I went to the grocery/hardware/fireworks store to buy traps. I asked about glue traps, because Ann wanted to get the mouse humanely. The woman behind the counter said all she had was the snap traps. Besides, what do you do when you catch one on the glue trap? I explained that vegetable oil dissolves the glue and frees the mouse. This is perfect because once the mouse is coated with oil you can drop it right in the frying pan. She just stared at me, either because she had no sense of humor or eating mice in Canada is not that unusual.
That night the irresistible combination of peanut butter and potato chips did its trick. The trap slammed shut at about 2am.
We enjoyed several days of mouse-free vacation bliss before the baby mice appeared. They were tiny sawed off versions of the first mouse —mouse-lets, if you will. I explained to Zack what was happening. We killed their mom, and now they’re seeking revenge. Having already left them orphans we didn’t have the heart to kill the baby mice, so we trapped them one by one and released them across the road. They’ve probably found their way back by now, just in time for the next folks using the cottage.
Categories: Home
Tagged: fixing things
It’s really important to use the right cut of lumber for the job at hand. We can find an example of using the wrong dimension in this story from WNYT:
AMSTERDAM - Two adults and one juvenile were transported to the hospital Friday night after a large fight, according to Amsterdam police. They say the altercation happened on Green Street and Kimball Street around 6:45 pm. Police say a large group of juveniles and adults were fighting with 2 x 4 boards as weapons.
While a 2 x 4 is imposing, it’s very difficult to get a good grip on it. Why not use a 2 x 2 instead? It’s a lightweight alternative that you can easily wrap your hand around. Don’t forget: take the time to inspect your wood for flaws and knots, especially if you’ll be using it in a visible location —like out on the street in front of your house.
Categories: News
Tagged: crime, diy, fixing things, manly matters
Nothing’s more satisfying than handing someone a pile of cash to do something you could yourself with the right tools. And a hydraulic lift. And maybe a class at HVCC. But after a $500 brake job, you don’t expect to hear a grating noise when your car is backing up. And I did.
SCRAPE-SCRAPE-SCRAPE! What the f…? That can’t be right. Not after my $500 BRAKE JOB! I pull out of the parking space and there it is again. SCRAPETY-SCRAPETY-SCRAPE. Now I’m furious —and getting ready to drive up (street name deleted) and march right into (repair shop deleted) to give those crooks a piece of my mind. A typical guy reaction at this point is to think, “Hmmmm. Maybe I can fix this myself.” Since ancient times this has been the undoing of many fine men, but I stuck my head under the fender and inspected the place where the wheel is connected to the that other thing. Nothing. I dropped to my belly and edged under the car. Well, that’s your problem right there. I reached way back and yanked out a branch that had stuck to the undercarriage. The rest of the afternoon? I basked in the smug satisfaction of my manly trifecta: smart, handy, and thrifty.
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: automotive, cars, diy, fixing things
So the heel starts coming apart on my favorite dress shoes and I get out the Gorilla Glue. Twelve-year-old Zack walks in and gapes at me, launching into a rant about my reckless disregard for the earth and its creatures. What are you talking about, I ask. Gorilla Glue dad? Gorilla Glue! What’s wrong with you —you’re using glue made from gorillas? Aren’t they endangered? I turn the bottle around and show him that “gorillas” are not listed on the ingredients. He’s not satisfied, so I go to the internet and find the technical data. Plenty of Diphenylmethane-diisocyanate, but no gorillas. My shoe is fixed, but if I develop foot cancer someday, please remember that I documented the use of this hazardous product on my blog. And that I did my part to save the gorillas.
Categories: Modern Living
Tagged: diy, fixing things, gorillas, Kids
